My Two Cents

Cancer, Round 1

2011-12-13T22:15:00.000-05:00

I promised you a look at the strange things that go on in my mind. Brace yourself! This can be a scary place.

CANCER, ROUND 1 – 1997

Found a lump, went to the doctor, had a mammogram, visited another doctor in Pittsburgh (2 hours away), back to Pittsburgh for a surgical biopsy, back for another visit, Cancer diagnosis, lumpectomy, then 9 weeks of daily radiation treatments. The whole 3-4 months was a blur of exhaustion and fear.

Every time I looked at my kids, I was terrified that I would die and they would be split up forever. Danielle was safely into her own adult life, but she wasn’t in a position to take custody of Jess and Rick. Jess is from my first marriage, Rick from my second. They would be torn apart and I wouldn’t be there to comfort or protect them. Just remembering that time takes my breath away and makes my whole body shake.

The ordeal changed us. Worry and fear had driven the laughter from our lives.

Through those months, Jess and I were frantically busy. I was either working, running off for treatments, or sleeping. Jess was going to school, working part-time, and trying to keep the house together and all of us fed and in clean clothes.

Rick, 11, became withdrawn. He went quiet, concentrating on his video games, TV shows, and martial arts classes. He didn’t want to bother Jess or I, so he tried to become invisible. He started sleepwalking, and quietly cried himself to sleep at night.

Jess, 17, took over being head of household. She skipped a lot of school (which I didn’t find out until years later) and ran with her friends during the day. It was easy. She told her teachers she had to take me to treatments, and they would give her homework assignments and extra days to get them done. They were all very understanding.

Once school let out, she came home to feed Rick, make sure I got home from treatments, went to work as a waitress, brought home food for me, cleaned the house, did laundry, etc. If she went out on weekends, she took Rick with her. Several times she did drive me to treatments, because I got to the place where I was too exhausted to make the trip myself. She was strong and tough, and didn’t want to scare Rick or I into thinking she wasn’t able to handle it. She started having headaches, and quietly cried herself to sleep at night.

I was consumed with staying alive. I got up every morning, went to work until 2, drove an hour to the hospital, had a radiation treatment, drove an hour home, went to sleep on the recliner. Some nights, I slept in the chair because I was too tired to climb the stairs to my bedroom.

I was so exhausted I felt drugged all the time. Toward the end of my treatments, I would pull off the road on the way home and nap, because I couldn’t keep my eyes open to drive home. That’s when I started looking for people to drive me, so I could sleep on the ride home. I didn’t want the kids to know how scared I was, for fear it would scare them. I realize now that part of the exhaustion was from the treatments, but part of it was depression. I quietly cried myself to sleep at night.

How much easier things would have been if we had talked! But we created our roles and played them out. We were all tough, and we could handle anything…or kill ourselves trying.

One night toward the end of my treatments, Rick couldn’t take anymore. He got out of bed and crossed the hall to my room. Jess heard him, thought he was sleepwalking, and got up to catch him and steer him back to bed. She joined him at my door. I was crying into my pillow and didn’t hear either of them. Hand in hand, they came in and crawled into bed with me. The three of us didn’t talk, but huddled up and cried together. The isolation was over. We fell asleep together, and that was probably the best night’s sleep any of us had had for months.

Hmmm…apparently I’m writing a memoir here. Tune in next time for the aftermath of Round 1.

Test Results

2011-11-28T21:46:00.001-05:00

Yes, I went AWOL on you. Now that it’s all over, I’m ready to talk about it.

I got an ear infection that sent me to the doctor. Since his files uncovered the secret that I hadn’t been there for almost two years, he scheduled all my yearly tests. This time, they found three spots in my breast.

It’s funny, but once you’ve been through a round of cancer, you’re always expecting it to come back. Since I’ve been through it twice, I’m always SURE that a spot means round three. So I started preparing for battle.

The radiologist said that two spots were cysts, and the third was a cyst that had abscessed. I had an appointment to have all three drained. The surgeon agreed that cysts can turn cancerous, but cautioned me to wait until the biopsy. I don’t wait.

Patience is a virtue, and I’ve never been accused of being too virtuous.

I told my boss, and we started trying to figure out how to find someone to cover for me for 8-12 weeks. Told Jess, my daughter, and we started figuring out how she was going to take full responsibility for the business AND take care of me.

Biopsy day. The doctor drained the first cyst. The fluid was clear green which he said was normal and good. He said if it wasn’t from my breast, he would have just tossed it. But my history meant it had to go to the lab. The second cyst wasn’t clear. It was a muddy green. When I asked what that meant, he just said “It goes to the lab.” Ah-ha! Exactly what I was expecting. Cancer.

When he examined the abscess, he decided it was a different type of abscess and couldn’t be drained. It had to be removed in one piece.

(I can’t remember what he called it. It’s hard to remember medical terms when you’re lying on your back, naked from the waist up, with your arms above your head and 4-inch needles stuck into your one remaining breast.)

The abscess has to be surgically removed. We decided to wait on that until the lab reports came back. If I had cancer, we were going to do a mastectomy and excising the cyst was a moot point. Obviously, the doctor was expecting cancer too.

More planning. Things were coming together, and I was preparing for surgery. Met with the doctor for results. I had notes on what type of reconstruction I wanted, and what we had to do ahead of time to make that possible. I was ready!

The doctor walked in, smiled, and said “All clear.”

I was too stunned to even think. Clear? No cancer? But…what about the muddy cyst? Nope, it was okay too. I dropped my trusty notebook back in my purse. The world spun. Crazy me, I was almost disappointed. My plans were coming together so nicely!

So that’s it. I’m having the abscess removed Wednesday morning, and then I’m good to go. Until next year, when we start the process all over again.

That’s where I’ve been. Next week, when it’s ALL over, I think I’ll expand on what goes on in my head every year when the testing starts. I think it’s an interesting psychological phenomenon. I hope you’ll be interested too.

Passions

2011-11-01T21:33:00.000-05:00

Okay, I did it. I just signed up for NaNoWriMo. (National Novel Writing Month, www.nanowrimo.org , for those who don’t speak “writing”.) The goal is to write an entire (rough draft) novel in 30 days. Yeah, right. I haven’t completed a novel in 51 years. Oh well, first time for everything!

A while back, Widdershins asked what ignites my passions. I assume she doesn’t mean sexual passion, because it’s been a long time since that particular passion has been ignited…

Whimper, sniffle…

One moment, I need to dry my eyes…

I’m better now. *Deep breath*

I spent over half my life suffering from very low self-esteem and depression. In my early 30’s, I finally faced reality and took the reins to run my own life. I believe I’ve become a completely new person, with a happy and contented new life. When I took charge of my life, a whole new world opened up to me.

When I see people who are living like I did, half alive, I have an overwhelming urge to help them find a way out. I’ve learned not to give advice, but to share my story and urge them to find the answers to their own situation. I love it when they start looking outside their little sphere, and coming up with possibilities.

Over the years, I’ve seen several people break out of a hole and feel the sunshine on their face. When they give me that wide-eyed look and say “You’re right, I CAN be more!”, I feel like my heart is going to burst with joy. For me, the greatest thing in the world is to help someone find happiness and new possibilities.

I think that’s where my passion for The Writer’s Chatroom came from. When I “see” the joy from someone who has finally gotten published, or just wrote something that knocked their own socks off, I forget how tired I am, or how I hate researching potential guests and new topics. Instantly, it’s all worthwhile.

So…what ignites my passions? Making a difference. If a little of my time and effort can help someone else find a happier life, I’m there. A few people were there for me, and kept encouraging me to try more, reach further, be more. I’ve lost touch with most of them, but I try to pay them back by touching other lives.

Okay, now I’m getting sappy. Anybody want a hug?

Food, Movies and a Werewolf Story

2011-10-25T21:23:00.002-05:00

Just read a GREAT werewolf story! Er…werepuppy story, that is. You’ll fall in love just like I did. The Cage, by Alyx Dellamonica: http://www.tor.com/stories/2010/07/the-cage
++++

Watched Red Riding Hood…that’s a hour and forty minutes I’ll never get back. Wasn’t worth my time. :(

But I also watched Legion. I wasn’t sure about that one. I like action movies, but horror movies usually have too much blood and gore for me to handle. This one I enjoyed. The battle of good vs evil is always a draw for me. This was worth the time spent watching.
+++

One of the questions asked here a few weeks ago was what my favorite food is. Well, that depends on my mood. Most of the time, seafood is my favorite. Crab, shrimp, scallops…I could eat them nearly every day. But I get cravings.

Sometimes I NEED pizza. Or ice cream. Or Chinese food. Just about anything that I like, I’ll get a craving for somewhere along the line. Occasionally I have a huge hunger for a beef roast and mashed potatoes.

That’s when I’ll go visit my parents. :)

(Widder, I swear I’ll get to your questions one of these days! They take more thought than most of the questions asked.)

Music, TV and Movies

2011-10-11T22:11:00.000-05:00

Ever seen the band Mumford and Sons? They were on Austin City Limits, which I always record. It’s a great way to find new music to listen to.

Mumford is a young British folk rock band, and not bad at all. I walked through the room, glanced at the screen, and thought I was watching some old movie I’d never heard of. The lead singer looks like a young John Cusak! I had to sit down and listen for a while. It was worth it.

***
What about the season finale of Warehouse 13? Did any of you see THAT coming? I’m glad they redeemed Steve, but holy cow, it’s going to be a whole new show when it comes back!

***
I heard that Battle: Los Angeles was a lousy movie. WRONG! I thought it was great. Not really a futuristic alien movie. This was a throw-back to the old John Wayne war movies. If that’s your style, don’t miss this one.

Girl in the Thong, Hulk an the baby, Two and a Half Men

2011-09-26T20:05:00.001-05:00

Sorry, I’ve wasted the past two week being sick. I have a couple little stories for you today, and a few random thoughts. My thoughts are quite random lately.

**

My son, Richard in real life, Ronin in the chatroom, has started blogging. Now you can all figure out why he makes me laugh so much. Check him out at www.Dickjutsu.com . Yes, seriously.

**

Some of you wanted to hear about the girl in the thong. I am here to serve…

I was at the Indiana County Fair on the last night, helping sell tickets for the United Way. I was looking at the people walking around, and wondering why Indiana County doesn’t have any good-looking people. Male or female. A few times I thought I was watching auditions for a remake of Deliverance. *shudder*

Then a young woman came through the crowd. Tall, slim, long dark hair, beautiful face. She was wearing a white lace mini-dress. The crowd parted before her, like the figurehead of a great ship parting the sea. She was friendly, smiling at everyone like a benevolent queen. I wasn’t the only one staring.

I was distracted by a Deliverance extra asking what our tickets were for. The woman with me explained, and I looked back at the beautiful girl…and gasped. She had stopped at a table to fill out a chance on something. Being tall, she had to bend W-A-Y over to write on the piece of paper. Under the white lace dress, she was wearing a blue thong with a silver clip where the two strings met in the back. Yes, I could see the clip.

I looked away. She was very pretty, but I had no interest in seeing her..er..more personal parts. But the crowd sure did. Jaws were dropping all over the room. An overalled boy of about 12 suddenly started playing pocket pool. His father probably would have slapped him, but dad was doing the same thing. All movement stopped.

When she stood up, there was a collective sigh from every male in sight, and some of the women. She turned, smiled, and sauntered off, leaving a wake of slack-jawed hillbillies behind her.

**

When I was leaving work one night last week (I work at the YMCA), I heard a strange noise as I reached my car. It sounded like something chirping. I looked in that direction and saw a well-muscled body builder getting out of a large SUV. He opened the back door, and the chirping got louder. He slung his gym back over his shoulder, then lifted out a pink flowered bag. With the other hand, he brought out an infant seat. I got a glimpse of wispy blond curls as he swung her around.

It was the baby chirping, but she stopped when she hit the cooler air. The Hulk stopped in mid-stride, lifted the seat up to his face and said “Don’t stop! Tell Daddy the rest of the story.”

The chirping started again. As he strode across the lot, holding the seat up so she could see his face, he rumbled “Really?” and “So then what happened?”

I think I fell in love.

**

Anybody watch the season premier of Two and a Half Men? First time in a long time I’ve laughed aloud at that show. The funeral scene was a classic. And if Kutcher keeps taking his clothes off, I may just save the shows on my DVR…forever.

What I Learned from Cancer

2011-09-07T17:32:00.002-05:00

(Read the comments on the previous post, then we’re all going to make Eileen teach workshops on training men!)

Anonymous asked what kept me going during my cancer battles, and if I felt scared or helpless. Yes and yes. What kept me going the first time was the terror of what would happen to my kids if I died.

My kids were always the driving force in my life. No matter what, I was determined to protect them and keep them close. I failed with Danielle. I didn’t protect her, and she went to live with her father when she was 14. That devastated me, then I focused more fiercely on protecting the younger two.

When I got cancer the first time, I was a single parent again. Jess was 16 and Rick was 10, and they were from different marriages. Danielle was an adult. I didn’t worry about her, but the other two were my life. If I wasn’t able to take care of them, they would be split up and have to live with fathers they weren’t on the best of terms with. But splitting them up was the worst thing. We called ourselves the Three Musketeers. What would happen to them if they were separated?

I couldn’t let that happen. No matter what, I had to stay alive to keep them safe and together. I went into everything with that one goal, to survive. The doctor said surgery, I said okay. He said radiation treatments, I said “When can we start?” I was going to do whatever I had to, to make it through.

And I did.

Three years later, when I got cancer again, I was afraid but not as terrified as the first time. Jess was an adult now, married with a baby on the way. Rick’s dad hadn’t been in his life for years, so I knew there wouldn’t be any problems with Jess getting custody of him. What kept me going that time was the fact that I had finally learned how to live, and what was important in life. I wasn’t willing to give that up.

I made it again.

I’ve been cancer free for 12 years now. I do regret only having a single mastectomy. If I had more time to think about it, I would have had a double and been done with it. I go through a smaller version of that terror several times a year. For a couple weeks right around mammogram time, I have to face the fact that chances are good it will come back in the other breast someday. Other times, I pull a muscle or get a bug bite, and I deal with the fear that it’s more than it is. But I face it and keep going.

I learned how to live in ’97. I’ve got a LOT more to do in this life. Whatever comes, I’ll fight my way through. Once you face the possibility of death, you learn to cling to life with all your might. Fear becomes something to overcome, not a wall you can’t get through. You learn that fear CAN be beaten. Looking death in the face teaches you to live every day to the fullest.

There is so much more I could say, like the fact that Jess went over and above the call of duty to help me both times. That Rick did his best to hide how afraid he was, and tried to be the man of the house even though he was just a little boy. The friends who disappeared, and the people I barely knew who stepped up to help. It was an amazing learning experience. Of course, I hope I’ve learned all the lessons God wanted me to learn, so I don’t have to do it again.

Hey…this blog is supposed to be funny, not a downer. I think I’ll let it go at that for this week. Next week, I’ll try to make you snort your drink all over the keyboard again. I’ll be back!

Women over 50 don't need a live-in man

2011-08-30T21:50:00.002-05:00

I got a couple responses to my “What do you want me to blog about” post. I’d like to answer the first one today.

Anonymous, I didn’t say women over 50 don’t need a man, I said they don’t need a LIVE-IN man. Of course, we are just fine as long as we have son-in-laws to lift, carry, haul and fix things. But that’s a different topic.

If you’re a woman over 50, and you don’t have a man in your life, stop and think for a minute what you would have to change if one suddenly moved in. Sure, you’d have someone to open difficult jars and put things on the high shelves, but what would you have to give up?

First, you’d probably be expected to cook meals. No more salad-from-a-bag or Lean Cusine frozen dinners. Real meals, with meat and potatoes and side dishes. Probably dessert too. Who has time for that? And who needs the calories? Because you know you’d eat it too.

You’d have to give up a quarter of your closet, and at least two dresser drawers. Two-thirds of the couch. Control of the remote. You’d probably even have to watch fishing shows and WWF wrestling. Ugh!

Your laundry just doubled. There is another person moving things around so you can’t find them. Whiskers in the sink and body hair in the drain. (Yes, body hair. He probably doesn’t have much on his head anymore unless you're a cougar. If you are, hurray for you!)

Belching, farting, and “I don’t think you want to go in there” when you have to pee. Or worse, if he doesn’t warn you first.

That’s just the first week.

I do think every woman over 50 should have a man, just not in her house! He should have his own house, where you can visit and leave him there when you’re ready for peace and quiet. You can invite him over occasionally, when you feel like messing up your own pretty sheets for a change. But don’t let him leave anything at your house, or he’s on his way in!

Let’s hear it ladies. Who agrees with me?

What do you want?

2011-08-24T18:21:00.001-05:00

Those of you who keep telling me to blog…what do you want me to blog about? You know I have opinions. Look at the title of this blog…you know what you’re getting when you come here.

Those of you who know me, know I can talk for hours on any topic, whether I know anything about it or not. So what topics do you want me to expound on? Whether or not a college degree makes you smarter? Dogs versus cats? Why women over 50 don’t need a live-in man? Why naked men look funny?

This is your chance. Give me a topic, and I’ll blog about it.

What do you want to know my opinion on?

=====

BTW, I watched Max Payne this week. Is Mila Kunis aiming to be the next Angelina Jolie? I think she’s in the running. She slings a great machine gun, and smiles while doing it.

Back Again

2011-08-21T16:18:00.002-05:00

All right, stop yelling at me! I'll blog. (muttering like an old grouch) I don't know why you want to hear from me here. Don't I annoy you enough elsewhere?

Anyway...

Watched the Dinero/Pacino movie “Righteous Kill” Friday night. About all I can say without spoiling it is “I never saw THAT coming!” Watch it. You’ll be shocked.

Watched “Slumdog Millionaire” today. Great movie. I expected a Bollywood romance. It is NOT. This is an action-oriented drama. Yes, men will like it too. I promise.

Great excitement here. Season 6 of Supernatural is available on Netflix the middle of September. Let’s see…did I schedule vacation so I can do a DVD marathon?

(Answer: Yes, I did.)

Urgent Warning for Friday

2010-08-25T21:41:00.001-05:00

ALIENS ARE COMING TO EARTH ON THURSDAY AND
THEIR MISSION IS TO ABDUCT ALL GOOD LOOKING
AND SEXY "OLD" PEOPLE.

I'M JUST POSTING TO SAY GOODBYE!

2009-08-12T14:19:00.003-05:00

Did ya think I disappeared? Well, I guess I did. Life got away from me this year. I'm trying to make a comeback...again.

The past year has been a rough one. I lost my brother to lung cancer last September. I didn't post about it because I didn't know what to say. I'm still trying to deal with it.

Those of you who have patiently followed me all this time are familiar with my huge dog, Socks. Unfortunately, Socks passed away in April. He was 11, and had been having health problems for two years. He faded away during the night. I miss him.

My grandmother wore out this summer. That's how the doctor put it. He said he couldn't fix her anymore because her body was just worn out. She hung on for a couple months, but in July she finally gave up. She went peacefully, with her children and some of her grandchildren around her. She's not in pain anymore.

That's my best explanation of why I haven't been more active around here. I've been on a bit of an emotional overload for a year now. No writing to amount to anything, moved my business from my home to an official office, and added a man to my life.

No, the roller coaster hasn't slowed down. I'm just hoping to find more ups than downs over the next year. And I hope to get here more often to keep you all updated!

Random Thoughts

2009-03-04T12:42:00.002-05:00

I've been so busy with work that I haven't kept up to this blog. Maybe if I slip over here occasionally, I can post snippits of things that are in my mind.

Hopefully, that will get them out of my head so I can concentrate on more important things.

This is something I never dreamed I would ever say: Jessica Simpson, you go girl!

It's jaw dropping to see someone in the public eye shrug their shoulders and accept being a size 10. Average size in the general population is 12-14. It's about time somebody on magazine covers looks like a real person.

Now if we could just do something with her mind... *sigh*

Ahoy, Matey!

2008-11-19T15:34:00.007-05:00

Yes, I'm still around. Life has slapped me up a bit over the past few months, but I'm making yet another comeback. Don't know if I'll get around to updating you on everything that's happened, but I wanted to share some new pictures with you.

My wonderful friend, Kim Richards Gilchrist, makes medieval costumes for LARPers (Live Action Role Players). When I mentioned that I would love to have a pirate shirt, she jumped right in and made me one.

To get an idea of the amazing job Kim does, check out the wedding gown she made for herself! And yes, I believe she made the suit for her king too. http://writerschatroom.com/2008/11/congratulations-and-best-wishes.html

People have been hearing since last December about my whip. Rick got me an 8 foot leather bull whip for my birthday last year. I don't think everybody believed it. So I put the pirate shirt, whip and a sword together for Halloween. (Keep in mind that pirate shirts are NOT slimming!) This was the result:

Kim's ebay store - http://stores.ebay.com/Robed-In-Fantasy

Marcia was taking the pictures and Sue was directing. They both kept yelling "Stop smiling! You're a mean, nasty pirate!" I did my best!

So, now you have proof. I really do have a whip, and I know how to use it!

BTW, the sword is real too. It's what I use to kill snakes that sneak into my house.

I'm not wearing my gun in THIS picture...

Nashville Has a Star!

2008-08-06T14:37:00.003-05:00

Hooray! Melissa pulled it off. She's the new Nashville Star. Look back at my 7/22 post. I called the darn thing after all!

I'm looking forward to following Melissa's career, but the one I want to hear perform right now is Shawn. I want to hear her sing some of her own songs. I'm an attitude person, and I loved hers. And what a wonderful loser. When she was eliminated, Gabe and Melissa both hugged her, and she was saying "It's okay. It's all good." Let's hear it for Shawn!

I just hope nobody tries to turn Gabe into a sex symbol. He's a clear contender for "the next George Strait". Let him follow in Strait's footsteps and eventually fill the spot. Don't try to make him into a pin-up, teen idol singer. That would be a disaster. And a great waste of talent.

I'm off to take Socks to the vet for a shot of his new medicine. He has perked up unbelievably in the past week! I swear the darn mutt looks two years younger. Wonder what I have to do to get some of those drugs?

.

Reprieve?

2008-08-01T12:20:00.002-05:00

Socks got a reprieve. The vet suddenly decided that all symptoms pointed quite clearly to another disease, not the one he was being treated for. After $300 in tests/medicine, we had one more test to do. Only $10. Results in 15 minutes.

Why we didn't START with this test, I don't know. Guess the vet must have had a credit card bill to pay.

Test was positive, of course. Another $10 for new drugs, $20 for the office visit. Come back next week. Grrr....

I'm almost afraid to say it, but he seems to be improving. Last night he went down the porch steps without falling. That hasn't happened for weeks. He's sleeping without crying out, let me brush him for a few minutes last night, and has recovered his appetite (unfortunate, since he needs to lose weight).

The vet said "I supposed you can kill your dog in cold blood, if you want to. But you can only kill him once." That was not called for. I was trying to end Socks' pain, not get rid of him. I'm boiling over that comment.

IF this works, and I get my healthy dog back, I'll calm down. But right now I'm afraid to hope, and I'm feeling heavily ripped off and abused by the vet. If this DOESN'T work, and I have to take Socks somewhere else to be put to sleep, I'm going to blast the vet all over the net.

At the moment, I still have my best friend and protector. That's good enough for today.

Okay, really down to the wire this time...

2008-07-29T16:01:00.003-05:00

I miscounted. There is one more week to the show. But last night was really good.

Did you notice how much happier and more professional they all seemed, after going home and acting like stars? Nothing like applause and worship from the people you grew up with, to make you feel like you're special. lol

Can't you see Shawn and Gretchen Wilson on stage together? Now THAT would be a concert to see! Shawn is having so much fun in this thing, it almost makes me want to give it to her. I still think somebody already offered her a contract. And that's an album I am interested in hearing.

We'll be hearing from Gabe. I hope Melissa wins, but I'm sure Gabe will get a contract too. If nothing else, to bring the hispanic population more into country music, like John Rich said. But I don't really think that will make a difference. Gabe deserves to be heard.

Coffey is obviously loved by his fans, but he's not country in my mind. Maybe that's California country he sings? I'm sure somebody will give him a record too. Maybe if he sings his own stuff, it will be better.

Melissa, you're my girl. All ten of my votes go to you tonight. Bring it on home.

+++++

Very sad news to report. My monster dog, Socks, has come to the end of his run. Tomorrow evening, we're off to the vet to close the book. Sock's health is so bad he can barely get on his feet anymore. He cries with pain, and cried from embarrassment twice last week when he had accidents on the floor. I can't let him suffer anymore.

He's been my friend, confidant and protector for ten years. Now it's time for me to be there for him, and stop his suffering. He wouldn't make me suffer.

Nashville Star: Down to the wire...

2008-07-22T15:54:00.003-05:00

Somebody needs to let Jewel know she's not a skinny little thing anymore. Those thighs need to be hidden a bit more. Five inch heels are for posing in, not trying to walk. She looked ridiculous.

And how dare she complain about the contestants stretching their voices? She was all over the place. That wasn't singing, she was doing scales.

Jeffrey is a songwriter, but he's not usually a singer is he? He seemed to be stretching and emoting more than what's-her-name earlier in the show. (Alyson?)

John Rich is John Rich. He's a great performer.

Coffey is going to have to write all his own songs. That was the first time he's really hit it all season. I DID like the song. A bit more pop than country, but I liked it.

Melissa is a star. And now we know she's a song writer too.

Is Gabe borrowing clothes from John Rich? Must be that "Texas boy" look. It works. Oh yeah. Great singing, good song. I was sidetracked by the jeans getting tighter every week. LOL

LOL Loved Ashlee's song! She's going to be around somewhere. That girl's got promise. I think Jeffrey is going to find someone to hook her up with.

Shawn has a future..and I still think she's already got a contract. Once she got away from John, she blossomed. There is definitely something going on for that girl these days.

My prediction! (And we all know how lousy I am at predicting this show.)

Winner - Melissa
2nd - Gabe
3rd - Shawn

I still don't know how Coffey got into the top 4. How did he beat out Ashlee? Makes no sense to me.

3 votes for Shawn, 7 for Melissa. Next week is the final, I think. Might be two weeks left.

Break out the champagne!

2008-07-15T16:37:00.003-05:00

Thank you America! The snippy little brats are gone!

John put the young one on the spot, and I loved it. She probably thinks she answered it well, but it was just what you'd expect from a selfish, immature little kid. I won't miss them at all.

Ashlee: Hon, you have seeds of greatness. More experience will make you a star. I don't think you're going to win this, but you're going to be around.

Gabe: A star. No question.

Coffey: The emotion was good, and needed. But I just don't care for his voice. I hope he finds the right field for him. I still don't think he's got what it takes for country.

Melissa: Did she try to hard? I just felt she was reaching a bit tonight. But she's ready for the road now. Give the girl her title.

Shawn: Perfect song, and she made it her own. That's the Shawn who is going to go somewhere.

Since my connection is so slow, I decided to try using the phone. I placed one vote for Gabe and two for Shawn, without a problem. Then I tried to vote for Melissa… "I'm sorry, all circuits are busy right now. Please try again later." I'm hoping it was the circuits for Melissa that were busy. Gabe is great, but he's going to get a contract anyway. I want to see Melissa win this. Between the internet and the phone, I finally managed to place 7 votes for Melissa.

BTW, what was up with Shawn tonight? Why do I have the feeling somebody offered her a recording contract, regardless of the outcome of the show? This is the girl who cried when she wasn't at the bottom. This week, she's at the bottom and has a fit of giggles? There was something going on there. Can't wait to find out what it was.

-------------------------------------

I promised more about my trip. I'm trying to cut it down to a reasonable reading length. But I've always been long-winded.

A bit of background: I'm a two time breast cancer survivor. In '97, they took a chunk from my breast and I had 9 weeks of daily radiation treatments. The radiation destroyed my teeth, but they said they killed all the cancer.

In '00, by a fluke, tests discovered a different form of cancer in the same breast. This time, it was the kind that spreads and kills. We rushed into surgery only days after the diagnosis. Mastectomy. Thankfully, we caught it early enough that removing the breast got all the cancer. 11 lymph nodes were completely clear.

Because of the radiation treatments 3 years previously, the skin on my breast was not salvageable. I came home from the hospital with a gaping hole in my chest, and had to grow new skin. The doctor didn't think I could do it without a skin graft, but I was determined. I felt that my chest was disfigured enough, I didn't want them taking pieces of skin from my legs too. I grew new skin.

Next was nine months of painful procedures to stretch the new skin enough to have reconstruction done. Even when I was thin, I had always been big breasted. I wore a mastectomy bra and a gel prosthesis at first, going to a fiber-filled pad as the skin was stretched. After nine months of pain, I'd had enough. The skin was stretched enough to give me a B-cup breast, but the remaining breast was almost a D. I told the doctor to reduce it to match, and get it over with. Early '01, reconstruction was done.

The new breast didn't really look like a breast, but as long as I was dressed, you couldn't tell the difference. Having half the chest I used to took some adjusting, but I did. Unfortunately, over the seven years since then, I've gained quite a bit of weight. Self-esteem problems, but that's another subject. Implants don't get bigger when you gain weight, but real breasts do.

While one breast was getting bigger, scar tissue was forming around the implant. It's a common problem called "encapsulation", and usually results in having to have the implant removed and replaced. Unfortunately, the scar tissue squeezes the implant, twisting it out of shape and making it look smaller.

So my real breast has grown to a C-cup, and the implant is squeezed down to between and A and B. I wear a pad in my bra to even them out. Nobody sees me without my fake breast. Nobody. To go to the mailbox, I either put my bra and pad on, or I throw on a sweatshirt that hides everything. Nobody sees me breast-less.

Back to the trip…

Saturday morning my roommates hauled me out of bed early. Fire alarms were going off, and we had to evacuate. I managed to step into my sneakers and throw a sweater over my nightgown before they shoved me out the door. We had to go down the stairs and we were on the 12th floor. Around the sixth floor, I woke up. That's when I looked down and realized I had on a thin jersey nightgown…and didn't have my breast.

Panic struck. I honestly turned around and tried to go back up the fire escape. The tide of people made that impossible.

By the time I stumbled down six more flights, I had managed to convince myself that life meant more than being seen deformed and disfigured. At first, I pulled my sweater tight around me, but it was already nearly 80 degrees. Sweating would make the nightgown more sheer, and that wasn't good at all.

I huddled into myself, wanting to disappear. Suddenly, I thought about all the things I had faced already, and came through just fine. Travel, crowds, tunnels…and I was alive. Why worry about a handful of silicone gel? I turned around, and saw people I knew. I let go of my sweater, walked over, and did what I do best. I made people laugh and forget their problems.

Nobody said a word about my lop-sided chest. I didn't notice anyone staring at it. If anyone did, that's their problem. I'm not ashamed to be a survivor.

There is more to the story, but this post is already too long. Maybe next week. :)

Nashville Star continued

2008-07-08T16:44:00.004-05:00

Melissa was top vote getter last week. The viewers are finally getting their heads together. And she kicked it again tonight.

Laura and Sophie, go home. Did you catch the younger one sneering at Jewel later in the show? Send that little snit home to learn how to act like a professional.

Gabe not only stepped it up, the little film at the beginning (about him taking dance lessons) shows that he's willing to learn, and to do whatever it takes to make it happen. I'm looking forward to him and Melissa going head to head at the end.

Oh Shawn, why? Your strongest asset is your kick-ass attitude. Stop trying to be sweet and soft. You fire John Rich, then go soft? Forget it girl. Your days are severely numbered.

Coffey, go home. Find something suited to your voice and manner. You're not bad, but you're not country.

Ashlee took off her shoes and became a challenger! Jonny Lang became a star in his bare feet. Why not Ashlee?

Pearl Heart never did find a lead singer. They could have a great career as back up singers, but they don't have a front person. You don't make a group work without a front person.

Tommy and Pearl Heart are gone. It's coming down to the wire. My predictions…don't seem to be right. Which is probably understandable, since I'm not a country music fan.

My HOPE is that Laura and Sophie go next week, and Coffey. Then we're down to losing someone I don't want to go.

My votes are: 1 for Ashlee to help keep her around, 1 for Gabe, and 3 for Melissa.

Sorry Gabe, you're really kicking it hon, but I gotta stand up for my girl. I'm more than willing to give you the number 2 spot!

=====================

I had a great trip! Coming home, I even managed to breath in the tunnel. I couldn't talk, and I was gasping, but that's improvement. Someday, I'll be able to drive through tunnels and not even notice them...I hope.

A lot happened over the weekend, but I'm not sure where to start. I was writing it up last night and it grew to four pages. When I read it over, I realized that some of it was a bit too personal to post to the web, and I don't do private posts.

[Side snit: I absolutely hate it when people make a blog post private. What's the point of posting at all? Just email it to the few friends you want to read it, and stop insulting people who think they are your friends and find out you don't think they are. End snit.]

I have to think about it, and process it some more before I can post. But even the fire at the hotel turned out to be a positive experience. It was definately a weekend to expand my horizons. Now to see where it all takes me.

Nashville Has Stars?

2008-07-01T17:42:00.003-05:00

Maybe we could tell who the stars are if they would let them sing a complete song. What was the point of a 45 second "song"? They barely got started and it was over.

Gripe and complain. lol

Nashville Star ( http://www.nbc.com/Nashville_Star/ ) recap, from my point of view:

Ashlee performed well…but Journey isn't country. The second song was better. She's got talent, but she's got some growing up to do too. Not sure if she will be able to mature fast enough.

Coffey sort of sang country. Did someone give him a wedgie during the first song? I don't like his high notes. That vibralto in his voice just turns me off. I like his singing less and less every week.

Tommy – Beautiful job on the first song. Second song was sort of country. I like this kid. If he would just get some consistency, I would know where to put him!

Pearl Heart needs to put one of the girls with personality out in front. Great harmony only goes so far. They would make great back up singers.

Melissa is tops. No question. She has to be runner up at the very least. Her personality just might put her over Gabe. I hope so!

Shawn did a good job again. I agree with Jewel though. I like Shawn's sass and kick-ass attitude better. But she did do a good job on the first song.

Gabe exploded tonight! No question, that boy came out of his shell. He just might knock Melissa out of the way after all.

Alyson just doesn't have what it takes. She will make a good county fair singer. Not a recording artist. It was time for her to go home.

Laura and Sophie need to finish growing up, then they will be awesome. But let these kids go home to their parents for a few more years. The one with braces is getting there, but the other isn't even close. I do finally remember their names but they are so forgettable I don't know which is which.

Last week I predicted that Tommy would be gone. I'm glad I was wrong.

I predict that, next week, Laura and Sophie go home at the beginning and Coffey at the end. At least I hope so.

Votes: 1 for Gabe, 1 for Tommy because I think there are others who need to go before he does, and 3 for Melissa.

===============

Those of you who get the TWC Spotlight have already read this, so just go leave your comments and ignore this part.

I, Audrey Shaffer, am going away this weekend. I haven't gone away more than overnight for the past ten years. (And most of the overnights were hospital stays.) I'm leaving Thursday for a 3-day convention (non-writing).

Okay, so I'm only going to Pittsburgh, about 90 miles from home. People who know me personally know this really is a big deal.

In the early 80s, I was agoraphobic. I couldn't leave my house without a panic attack. I've come a long way from that situation, but I still have problems traveling very far. I also have problems with tunnels and large crowds. This weekend I'll have to face all three phobias. Thankfully, a friend is going to do the driving. A very good thing, since I stop breathing in tunnels. And there are two tunnels on this trip. Deep breath...

Nashville Star continued

2008-06-24T16:59:00.002-05:00

Tommy was one of the two lowest last week? Last week he was good! Not so good this week though.

I realized I didn't give you a link to find out what the hell I'm talking about. You can find show highlights at http://www.nbc.com/Nashville_Star/ . Then maybe my catty remarks will make more sense.

Ricky Martin…country style? Only if Gabe sings it. Is there anything that guy can't countrify?

I think Pearl Heart is getting better, but I hate that song. I could barely stand to listen.

Sorry Alyson. Tommy James is rolling over in his grave. You didn't turn that song country, you killed it. (Is Tommy James dead? If not, I apologize.)

Ashlee turned Britney Spears country. And she really DID it! She loosened up too, and started to look like she was having fun.

Coffey – why do they have to sing songs I can't stand? They crowd loved him, but he belongs on Pop Star. I'm not seeing country here.

Laura & Sophie (Yeah, I finally paid attention to their names) need to realize that cowboys boots can't make those dresses look country..or even look good. When I looked away from the screen, it didn't sound too bad though.

("Madonna Cupcakes" was SO perfect. It takes a writer to come up with a perfect phrase like that.)

Shawn is far from the best voice on the show, but she Performed with a capital P. Not real country, but country enough for the show. She looked like a professional.

WHY do they keep putting Melissa in the bottom? That woman has an unbelievable voice!

Justin finally found a song that fit him, and turned in a good performance. Unfortunately, a week too late. Somebody pick that boy up and put him in a TV show. Preferably without a shirt. (I am NOT a pervert! The term is "cougar". So there.)

Tommy wasn't country. He disappointed me tonight. He's got personality, but I'm not feeling the talent to make this happen.

My votes tonight go to Melissa (3 votes), Shawn (1) and Ashlee(1). Yes, Gabe was great, but everybody else will vote for him. He doesn’t need my votes yet.

I was right on my prediction last week. I say that next week, Tommy will be gone. His performance tonight just wasn't what it should have been.

Nashville Star, Week 2

2008-06-17T15:31:00.004-05:00

My views on last night's Nashville Star:

The little girls improved. Still just a couple of kids with nice voices, but better than last week.

Justin is so pretty, I want to keep him around for a while. Just to look at, because he's not much of a singer.

Alyson threw me for a loop. Who knew she could really sing? She just might be on the show for a while.

Pearl Heart almost pulled it off. Maybe, with time…

Tommy has guts. I don't think I could have sung a John Rich song in front of John Rich! Tommy was a bit stiff, but he really put himself out there. He's got presence.

Gabe has a wonderful voice. It doesn't match that baby face, but it's still great.

Shawn I'm not sure about. I don't think she's going to make it. She's too emotional, all at the wrong times. She's got to get better control over herself.

Coffey disappointed me. I expected much better after last week.

Melissa was good, but could have been better. The question is how the hell did she end up at the bottom, after nailing it last week? She was one of the best performers. Did people not vote for her because of her weight? America, I'm ashamed of you!

Third Town probably has a future playing bars and fairs. They just don't have what it takes to make it to the big time. And the middle singer tries too hard to look like Jack White and ends up looking creepy. I'm glad they're gone.

You can vote up to 10 times…but on my slow dial-up connection, I just don't have that much time. I'm sticking to three votes. I voted for Alyson twice, and Tommy once.

Why do I have the horrible feeling I'll be voting for Justin or the little girls by the end of this? Oh please, don't make me do that!

With the startling improvement in Tommy and Alyson, I'm really looking forward to the rest of the season. There really could be some stars in the making here.

Who should leave from this week? I vote for the little girls or Justin. Shawn is in danger too. My prediction? Justin is gone.

*****
I promised an update on where I've been for the last six months. I'll give you the Reader's Digest Condensed version:

I quit smoking the beginning of February. Had my gall bladder out in March. Decided to expand my business in April. Opened an office in town (Indiana, PA) in May.

Losing my mind in June...but what's new? I gotta keep busy!

Nashville Star

2008-06-09T22:24:00.003-05:00

Yes, I'm finally back. I'll explain more about where I've been, another day. Right now, I've got something on my mind.

First of all, I don't watch reality shows. I think they're a waste of time, and the main idea is to make people look stupid. I honestly think people watch American Idol just to see Simon slice-n-dice the contestants. BUT...

I'm a Billy Ray Cyrus fan. Have been for many years. Yes, it all started when he shook his stuff for Achy Breaky Heart, but we've both grown up. Forget ABH, and listen to some of his other work. The man not only can sing, he's a damn good songwriter too.

So, when I saw Billy Ray was hosting Nashville Star, I knew I had to brace myself and watch the show. Yep, there was humiliation. Yes, there was really bad singing at the beginning. People looked like asses. But then the contest started.

The two little girls who sang to each other need to go home and grow up. In another 5-6 years, they will be awesome. Just not yet.

The three guys who sang Elvira? No way! You don't touch that song unless you've got a deep baritone in the group.

The three sisters might have a shot. They have a lot of work to do though.

Coffey...that man's got it going on. He was relaxed and open. Great voice and a smile that didn't look forced. He's going to be around for a while.

Gabe...honey, I had to look at the screen to make sure it wasn't George Strait singing. And then I looked again to make sure the guy wasn't lip syncing. This is a young man with a singing future.

And then there was Melissa. I liked her from the start, probably because we're around the same size. She's got five little boys at home...FIVE. The woman obviously needs some help. But that's not my point.

She came out on that stage and knocked'em dead. She strutted her stuff and she sold it. She's got one hell of a voice, and she has the attitude to carry it through. I was nearly in tears. How often does the fat girl get to be the star? This one could take it all the way.

Yeah, life's been busy. But I'm back now, and I intend to keep you updated much better now.

I'll have to let you know how Melissa does every week. Because you know you're not going to watch Billy Ray Cyrus. So he traded his mullet for a soul patch. I'll watch him anyway.

Election Year

2008-01-16T19:44:00.000-05:00

Are you following the primaries?

Do you get the impression that the media is from another planet? They don't seem to have the faintest idea how real Americans think or feel.

I ignore poll results. For the past four years, I get a call at least quarterly. They say they're running a poll, will I answer some questions? I'm always prepared to give my opinion.

First question: Did you vote for George W. Bush in 2004?

My answer: Yes.

Pollster response: Thank you. We have no further questions today.

Four years of this. And I'm supposed to believe their polls reflect reality?

Happy Birthday to Me

2007-12-13T15:33:00.000-05:00

Tuesday was my birthday. As I thought I was turning 49, discovering that I just turned 48 was nice. My birthday made me a year younger than I thought I was.

I've been on Chantix for a week now, and Tuesday was to be my quit smoking date. I figured birthday, new start, etc. Got up Tuesday morning all prepared. I didn't have to go anywhere or talk to anyone. If it was a rough day, nobody would know.

For the first time in my adult life, I started a day without a cigarette. Got a shower, ate something, took my Chantix pill and all my vitamins. Logged onto the internet and downloaded my email.

Mid-December to mid-March is a crazy time for me. I do budgets/W-2s/year end tax reports for five companies. Yes, five. Last year was four.

First email I looked at told me that a dear friend I was planning to lean on during this period, was not going to be there for me after all. As a matter of fact, planned to end their association with me. Was moving on with their life, and would be phasing themselves out of my life over the next three months.

I stared at the monitor for a while. Then I turned around and stared at the floor.

Then I had a cigarette.

The day did not improve after that. A client called with an "emergency" that turned out to be nothing…AFTER I made a trip to their office. I had to smoke to stop the shaking so I could drive.

My dad had surgery on Tuesday. Nobody called to let me know how it went. By evening, I was quite worried. I started calling family members, trying to find out how he was doing. I caught a niece who told me Dad had just come out of Recovery. At 8 pm. When his surgery was scheduled for noon. No idea why so late, but she would have her mom call me. The call never came.

I smoked eleven cigarettes on Tuesday. Which is still good, since I've been smoking 50 a day for the past 30 years. But wasn't what I planned.

I smoked nine on Wednesday. It's 3 pm Thursday, and I've had two. In spite of everything, I think I'm going to manage to do this.

Dad is fine. Delays kept him from going INTO surgery until after 4 pm. I would be visiting him today, but everything is incased with ice outside right now. I'll get there.

I'll handle all the rest of it too. One way or another. I always do.

168 hours in a week...

2007-12-03T12:44:00.000-05:00

I preach to people all the time about posting regularly to their blogs. Obviously, I don't practice what I preach. Let's see if I can do better.

I have a very busy life. My offline Consulting/Accounting business is my main income source. I don't work, I don't eat. So I work quite a bit. I really like to eat.

I build and maintain websites from home. That takes a few more hours every week. Then there is The Writer's Chatroom, which takes another 10-15 hours per week. That's a business too, but not income-producing…yet. We're changing that this coming year.

I'm involved with a self-help group for 2-5 hours per week, on and offline. Plus two professional networking groups. And the dozen advice emails I send to other writers every week.

Then there is my own writing. I finally started the rewrite on Talk to the Animals. And I have four short stories I'm trying to find homes for.

All that, on top of cooking/cleaning/laundry for myself and two pets. While trying to renovate my house.

I try to go out and have fun for a couple hours every week. I read 2-3 books a week, and watch at least one movie. The writer's strike may free up more time, because I follow two sitcoms and five hour-long TV shows. Of course, DVR means I can turn that seven hours into four by fast-forwarding through the commercials.

That adds up to somewhere around 110-120 hours a week. Another 50 hours for sleeping. While there are 168 total hours in a week. I think you see how things can fall through the cracks!

But there may be hope on the horizon. I've found a program called Simpleology. The goal of the program is to help me get organized and focus better. So far, so good. I've been in it almost a week now. I AM feeling more organized, and missing fewer things.

I updated my blog. That's progress!

Slow, but reliable

2007-08-25T23:20:00.000-05:00

I gave up. Yes, I admitted defeat.

Three months ago I got satellite internet. I live out in the sticks, and DSL and cable don't come out this far. I have had satellite TV for over ten years now, and I like it just fine. Service is good, price is comparable.

So when my dish company offered satellite internet in my area, I jumped on it. It was pricey, especially compared to my old dial-up, but I thought it would be worth it. More speed, able to use my phone while on the net…yes. That's worth $50 a month, right? Double what DSL costs, but I don't have that option here.

It was installed in April. The installer turned out to be a guy I went to high school with! We hadn't seen each other in…er…a lot of years. So it was fun to catch up.

He left, and it was working. Considerably slower than I expected it to be, but faster than dial-up. I downloaded a file and it just zipped through! I was happy. For a while.

Three hours after the tech left, my connection disappeared. I restarted the computer, reset the modem, repeated myself over and over…no signal. I called the tech support line. After about twenty minutes, they decided there was a problem with the Syracuse server, but it should be back online shortly. Very sorry for the disturbance in my service. Won't happen again.

It came back a few minutes later. I figured it was a glitch, wouldn't have to worry about it again. And I didn't…until the next night. And every single night after that.

For all those months, I lost my connection every evening. Sometimes for ten minutes. Other times, for hours. Call tech support, and nearly every time there was a "temporary" problem at the Syracuse server. Nothing they could do. Just wait for it to come back.

I missed chats on my own chatroom site. I missed online meetings that I had scheduled. On evenings with a short outage, the server would be s-l-o-w for hours before going out. Websites would time out before they loaded, it was that slow.

The installation company was back twice, trying to fix it. Of course, they came during the day, so there wasn't any problem. They really did try, I don't blame them at all. One repairman suggested that my network card was bad, and I needed to replace it. I did…to the tune of yet another $30. Made no difference.

Sunday night, I gave up. Another chat that I was supposed to moderate, and I had no service. I got a bit huffy with tech support, and they made yet ANOTHER appointment for a serviceman to come to my house. Oh, and yes, there was a temporary problem with the Syracuse server.

After no service for five hours, I gave up. I called back and told them I needed to change my repair appointment. They were very willing to help me with that. Everything was friendly until they asked what I needed to change. My response was "I want somebody to come and get your shit out of my house."

The guy on the phone recovered quickly. He looked at my call record, and was amazed. He not only canceled my contract with no penalties, but gave me a refund for a month's service. (Well, he said he did. We'll see when the bill comes in.)

A call to AT&T at midnight on a Sunday. After 45 minutes, I finally got a very nice Indian guy who had a lot of problems understanding numbers in English. We struggled through, and he finally got the order in. He told me my dial-up service would be restored within 24 hours.

I re-ran the telephone line, hooked everything up. Just from frustration, (I had been without internet for about 7 hours by this time, and was having withdrawal symptoms) I clicked the connect button. That Indian guy might not speak very good English, but he had my old connection restored in under ten minutes. :)

So I'm back on dial-up. I learned that fast isn't fast when it's only there part of the time. I'll stick with slow, as long as it's reliable.

Verizon is coming Wednesday to put in a second phone line. Wonder how that will go?

Not an easy month

2007-08-14T22:43:00.000-05:00

I've really had a rough month. I told you the beginning of it in my last post. But after that, things got worse.

On the 30th, I had the pleasure of my first colonoscopy. Honestly, the test was nothing. I slept through it. The rough part was the day before. I won't go into details there.

One thing about the test that bothers me. I was talking to the anesthesiologist. She said she was going to give me something to make me relax. The doctor and a male nurse (young and good-looking) rolled me onto my side just as the drugs hit me. As I floated away on a cloud, I said "Oh, that feels good." I hope like hell they realize I was talking about the anesthetic, not what they were doing to me.

On the 1st, I was so sick I left work early and came home. I couldn't lie down, because I would cough until I nearly passed out. My brain was mush, but it finally occurred to me to take my temperature. My normal temp is 96.6 degrees. So what is usually considered normal is a fever for me. The thermometer said 100.5.

I called my daughter Jess. As a matter of fact, I've called her Jess since she was three days old. But that's not the point.

When Jess answered the phone, we discovered that I had lost my voice. She knew it was me from the phone readout, and figured out that I was sick because I took a coughing fit when I tried to talk to her. After the coughing, she was able to understand about every third word I was saying. When I tried to tell her my temp was 100.5, she heard "one hun… five". She snapped "Get your shoes on, I'm coming." I tried to tell her that it was 100 POINT 5, but she hung up on me. I put my shoes on.

Jess had to give my medical history at the hospital, because I couldn't remember it. My brain just refused to work. The ER doc tried to tell me I was having an asthma attack because I smoke. I knew it wasn't asthma, but he wouldn't listen. Got him to take a chest X-ray. He made me take a breathing treatment that didn't make the slightest difference.

After the X-ray, the doc didn't come back. He sent the nurse to tell me I had bronchitis. Told me to use my inhaler four times a day (my doctor has told me not to use it unless I need it, and I haven't needed it since last October), and had the nurse give me a prescription for an antibiotic. I asked for a different drug, because I didn't think I could take that one. He wouldn't change it. The nurse gave me the first dose right before we left.

Made it halfway home, and Jess pulled over so I could indulge in a little projectile vomiting. (I'm trying out for the Olympics, so I had to practice.) I slept on the recliner, because when I tried to lie down, I coughed until I passed out.

Called my doctor the next morning. He pulled up the ER records. It wasn't bronchitis, it was pneumonia. And the drug prescribed is in the same family as the one I can't take. He called in a prescription for the antibiotic I had originally requested, and a cough syrup. And told me not to use the inhaler unless I had an asthma attack.

Cough syrup had codeine, so I pretty much slept away the weekend. Missed my niece's graduation party. Sorry Jen!

Recovered from all that. Saw the specialist on the 6th. He had pictures of the colonoscopy. I can't believe it. He not only crawled up my butt, he took floodlights and a camera crew with him! No wonder I got so sick two days later. Must have been rectal trauma.

At least he said I have one of the nicest colons he's seen in a long time. Not a single polyp. Absolutely beautiful for a woman my age. Now, if someone would just say that about my face, I'd be happy.

Saturday, my dog had a stroke. I spent most of the evening sitting on the floor trying to keep him calm. His back legs were paralyzed for a few hours, but he got the use of them back. He's a bit unsteady yet, but he is up and mobile again.

Yesterday, my doctor gave me a clean bill of health. But he said the warranty on it would run out the minute I walked out the door, because he knows how I am. Current prescription is to stay warm and dry, get plenty of sleep and take my vitamins every day. And call him the minute I get sick again. He also told me to get a new calendar, because it's still summer. I'm not supposed to get pneumonia until winter.

And that's my update. I'm trying to keep a low profile this week. I don't need anymore excitement for a while.

Good News From Iraq?

2007-07-22T14:56:00.000-05:00

Have you heard of Arthur Chrenkoff? He is an Australian who wrote a blog on good news from Iraq. I read it often, and was always amazed at all the news the papers never reported. Unfortunately, Chrenkoff got a new job in 2005 that meant he would have to stop posting in his blog. The archives are still there, and make VERY interesting reading. Did you ever hear about all these successes? Probably not, unless you followed his blog too. You can read the archives at http://chrenkoff.blogspot.com/ .

I get two different news services by email, one liberal, one conservative. It's amazing how often they report on the same event, but I have to dig deep to realize it's the same story. One paper will skew it positive while the other turns it negative. It's really confusing. And neither one of them reports on the really positive stuff. I'm searching. Surely someone took over where Chrenkoff left off.

Do you know where to find the GOOD news from Iraq? Help me out here!

I had some kind of "gastric event" last weekend. I passed enough blood to make me pale and weak. (I won't go into details. You don't want to hear them.)

So what does the doctor do to try and figure out what's wrong with me? Yep. Sends me to the hospital where they take MORE blood. I've been quite tired lately. It has been a great excuse to eat lots of red meat. Gotta replace that blood, ya know.

More tests coming up. It's good to have something to look forward to. *sigh*

Paris Hilton cries

2007-06-10T22:55:00.000-05:00

Paris Hilton was taken from her home in handcuffs. She was escorted into court "disheveled", sans makeup and without her hair done. Crying and hysterical, she was taken to a facility for medical and psychiatric examinations, before being taken back to jail to serve out the rest of her sentence.

THANK GOD!!!

When she calmly presented herself to be locked up, I knew damn well she had something up her sleeve. An "unspecified medical condition"? What, she's allergic to not having her own way?

I applaud the judge. It's about time somebody stands up to one of these darlings of the media, and shows them what real life is. Rich and famous has meant "not responsible for their own actions" for far too long. For god's sake, the girl is 26 years old! It's about time she discovers that she has to live by the law too, the same as the poor people she looks down on.

Anyone who says "It's not fair!" needs to have some sense slapped into them. The children who idolize her need to be taught that some things just aren't right. That it's NOT okay to do anything you feel like doing.

And yes, I said children. I don't care if her fans are in their fifties. Anyone who idolizes a worthless, irresponsible, immature idiot like that, isn't an adult. Maybe they should go have their heads examined along with her.

Grow up, people. Take responsibility for your own actions. And expect the same from the people you look up to.

Rant over.

Why?

2007-05-28T19:46:00.000-05:00

Three years ago, I left a decent job so I would have the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I built a consulting business, focusing mainly on accounting and website development.

I took over The Writer's Chatroom, and built it into something much bigger than it was. I've met and talked to hundreds of writers, agents, publicists, acquisition editors and publishers. I've helped many new writers navigate the murky waters of the writing business.

I wrote a rough draft of a novel. I started a self-help book and another novel. Wrote several short stories. Started and then closed a coaching business. Wrote a course in online promotion. Did a bit of public speaking. Did some copywriting, and had a few works published.

Along with all of this, I learned so much that I never knew existed. I learned how to write properly, and how to make writing pop. I learned how to build websites, and work with html. How the publishing business works. How to write promotions that kick people in the butt and make them do what I want them to do. How to network effectively, and then make use of those networks.

I discovered that I am a poised, intelligent woman. I can speak to anyone, anywhere, on any topic, at any time. I have become one of those people that other people gravitate to. I run into people I know and am friendly with, nearly everywhere I go. And if I don't know anyone there, I do by the time I leave.

I've made some friends who mean the world to me, even though we've never met in person. People who I KNOW would pick up and drive for hours, or get on a plane, if I really needed them. And I would do the same for them.

I have a good life. My home is paid for, and I really don't have a lot of bills, compared to most people. I don't have a lot of money, but that's mostly because I do things that I enjoy, instead of things that will make me rich. I make enough to live comfortably, and if I need more money, I simply focus my attention and make more.

I have a good spiritual relationship with my God, and I most of my worries don't last long. I have loving relationships with my kids and their kids, and even friendly relationships with my ex-husbands. I have a dog and cat who adore me and want to be at my side at all times.

My home isn't fancy, but it's comfortable. It needs work, but I'm gradually fixing it up. It gets better all the time, and everything ends up exactly the way I want it.

I do whatever I want, whenever I want. So far, I've succeeded in everything I've really tried. There were a few things that I tried, and then decided I didn't want. So I dropped them.

It's been a good three years. So tell me…why do I feel so unsettled lately? Why do I feel like something is missing? And why can't I figure out what it is?

We're so sexy...

2007-02-25T19:23:00.000-05:00

I need to get a digital camera so I can share the exploits of Keeta, my gender-confused cat. (Read his story here) Last week, Keeta decided to embrace his feminine side.

I have a drawer of sexy lingerie. Most of it is too small, and some of it is WAY too small. The smaller stuff carries some interesting memories, so I keep it. It's been a long time since I wore anything from that drawer. In my current life, "going to bed" means fleece pajamas and cotton socks. Or a big T-shirt, in the summer. Those silky little scraps of material stay prisoner in the drawer.

The other night, I walked in to find Keeta sprawled across the middle of the bed, wearing a deep green camisole. He skipped the matching panties. Hanging out with Britney Spears too much, I guess.

I walked around the bed and discovered the drawer hanging open, lace frothing over the edge. How he got it open, I have no idea. And why did he pick the deep green? He would have looked much better in the pink.

I sorted through the drawer, re-folding and putting away. The last item was a black teddy with a halter back. It fit the last time I tried it on. I thought about it. Why not?

I took off my clothes and started to put the teddy on. I felt a draft across my bare back…tossed the teddy in the drawer and grabbed my old fleece PJs. That's right. Comfort beats sexy in my life these days. I'm not getting older, I'm getting smarter.

Keeta wears a fur coat under his lingerie. Isn't that cheating?

Grandma's Birthday Party

2007-02-18T22:35:00.000-05:00

When my grandmother turned 70, she said "You need to give me a birthday party, because this might be the last year I'm here." Grandma's health isn't good. Hasn't been good since she had her back broken around age 20. We were afraid she was seeing the future, and wouldn't be here the next year. Mom scrambled, and gave her a party. The next year, at 71, she said the same thing. We had a party.

Grandma is now 82. She said….oh well, you know what she said. And today was her party. :)

Two companies are being turned over to the CPA for taxes tomorrow. The other two should be turned in later this week. I see the light! Of course, I have the info for three individual tax returns lying here. But they don't take nearly as long.

We got a lot of snow last week. I have an elastic brace I wear when my back acts up. I've been wearing it steady since Wednesday. Only made it to the gym once last week, but I got plenty of exercise. I hear it's supposed to warm up this week. Maybe the snow piles will melt down enough that I can see when I try to back out of the driveway.

Don't forget to check my book review blog at http://audreyshaffer.blogspot.com . I posted a review on one of Barry Eisler's books last week. (Barry will be our guest in the chatroom www.writerschatroom.com on March 18.) Reviews on books by M J Rose and Joe Moore/Lynn Sholes are coming soon.

Hmm…just read over this. I sound as tired as I feel. But there is hope. If Grandma can enjoy a party at 82, I've got plenty of time left.

It's c-c-c-cold!

2007-02-12T22:17:00.000-05:00

Even Socks cut short his outside trips last week. The only good thing is it was too cold to snow. But I think that's changing this week.

I started going to the gym in January. Since they opened one at the high school, I don't have any excuse not to go. It's on my way home from just about anywhere, and the cost is only $30 for 3 months. With a deal like that, I decided I had to do it.

Five weeks in, I'm pleased with my progress. I've lost six pounds, a half inch off my bust, hips and thighs, and a full inch off my waist. I realized last week that I can now tuck a 20 pound bag of dog food under my arm and carry it into the house. After the mastectomy, seven years ago, it took both hands to lift a half-cup of tea. I couldn't pick up a full cup for weeks. I'm feeling good. :)

My writing has been on hold since mid-December. Year-end brought me a lot of paying work, and income had to become a priority. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I should be able to get back to my self-help book soon.

The novel is in a drawer for now. Someday I will get the urge to start shaping it up, but not now. My current interest is a book for single woman, on how to live happily without a man. No, I have nothing against men. I'd like to have one of my own. But there are a lot of single women in the world who are in limbo. They are just waiting for their Prince Charming. Once they find him, they will start living. What they don't seem to realize is that their life is passing by and they are missing it. I want my book to help them enjoy life on their own, whether they find a man or not. Really, where is the happiness in spending your whole life waiting?

Well, I just got a fuel oil delivery. $450. Must be time to get back to work and make some money.

Did ya miss me?

2007-02-06T20:20:00.000-05:00

What day is it? Or maybe I should ask what month it is. I seem to have gotten lost for a while.

The past two years, December and January were very slow work months for me. If I had sat down and thought about it, I would have realized that wasn't going to happen this year. Not when I now have double the clients I did last year.

So the past six weeks have been a blur of Christmas, a 10-day visit from Rick, W-2s for six companies, and getting four companies wrapped up and ready for year-end taxes. With all the things I have going on other than my accounting business, I've been putting in 65-70 hour weeks. I'm too darn old to keep up this pace much longer.

But the W-2s are all sent. One company is ready for taxes, another should be ready by the end of the week. Just two more to go…and then I can return all these calls from people wanting me to do their individual tax returns. lol

But life is good! I got a flu shot and haven't really been sick all winter. Socks and Quita are both healthy now. No more vet bills!

My kids and grandkids are doing good too. Kaity and Becca are having surgery in March, but that's good. Once it's over, they won't have to put up with constant strep throat anymore.

I started going to the gym in January. Four weeks now, and I've lost six pounds…including a full inch off my waist. I'll be in fighting shape for the class reunion this summer. :)

I'll try to keep up better from now on. Sometimes I think nobody reads my blogs, but all the emails asking if I was okay proved me wrong. Thanks for caring!

A little whine

2006-12-04T18:25:00.000-05:00

I hate drugs. Socks and I are both taking them right now, and neither of us is happy. His is an ointment I have the pleasure of applying twice a day. Of course, he licks it off. It's not helping the itching, but it is making him nauseated. So far I've managed to get him outside before he throws up, but tomorrow he'll be here in the house alone all day. I'm sure I'll have a mess to clean up when I get home.

The antibiotic I'm on (from my doctor, not the vet) seems to be doing it's job, but it has me tired, achy and grouchy. I didn't accomplish much over the weekend and I have a feeling this week is really going to wear me down. Not only do I have 4 clients this week, but I've got two evening meetings, a chat to attend and a teleconference. Anybody have any extra speed? I think I'm going to need it.

Yes, I'd like some cheese with my whine. And Ty, I'm keeping the cheese all to myself! I'm not in a sharing mood today. :P

It's amazing how much better I feel after a good bitch.

Ah, supper is almost ready, I got all the boring work done for today and Charlie Sheen will be on TV tonight. I think I'll go enjoy my evening. Thanks for listening! :D

Socks update and Meet my son

2006-11-27T22:10:00.000-05:00

Socks does NOT have cancer. You have no idea how relieved I am. He's still got some surgery coming up, but at least it's not terminal. Now I just have to figure out how to pay for all these vet bills.

I've been pushing myself way too hard. Last week, I burned out. Couldn't concentrate, couldn't remember what all I had to do, just couldn't think clearly. I manage to take care of my accounting clients, but nothing else really got done.

The Rayne Drop had bands two nights last week, Wednesday and Saturday. I managed to miss both nights. Wednesday, I was just too damn tired to get dressed and go out. I think I was in bed by 11, and the band started at 10.

Saturday was a different matter. I started with housework, which doesn't take any brain power at all. Then I sat down and read Stephen King's latest book, "Lisey's Story". Then cleaned up some emails that really didn't mean anything. Then I watched a movie. More housework. Watched another movie. About midnight, I remember that it was Saturday and that there was a band. Decided to go to bed instead.

Rick came for a visit on Thanksgiving Day. He was up just for the day, to go to dinner with his dad's family. But he came over here for a few hours. He brought me a 12-lb turkey! Unfortunately, it had thawed out so I couldn't save it for his Christmas visit. After a big turkey dinner at my mother's house yesterday, I cooked a 12 lb turkey today…and I live alone.

I'm stuffed. The dog and both cats are stuffed. Poquita looks like he's going to explode. And I still have a huge container of turkey to bag up and freeze for the future. I sure hope everybody does ham for Christmas, or I'll LOOK like a turkey by New Years.

Speaking of my son Rick, he's got a site on MySpace now. He made a video of him working out with his nunchuckas and uploaded it. Go check it out! http://www.myspace.com/ronin_nash

Talk to you all next week. Have a great one! :)

Published again!

2006-11-20T22:03:00.000-05:00

*sigh* Did it again, didn't I? Just got so busy I never made it in here to post. But I did get another published clip. My essay "God is my…" is on the NPR website. It hasn't been read on the air, but that's still a possibility.

I've been running Socks to the vet lately. Today, he had a biopsy. We'll find out next week if it's cancer or not. It's funny how much pets become like our children, especially when we don't have children at home anymore. I've been in tears quite a few times lately. Poor Socks has had a lot of pain and discomfort from these tumors, and it hurts me that I can't make him feel better. He looks at me with those big sad eyes and whimpers. And I can't fix it.

Life has really been hectic the past few weeks. I have a new accounting client to set up, and we're still making changes and new plans for the Chatroom site. Once all the changes are implemented, I should have more time to write. But right now, there just isn't time to do much of anything. Heck, I haven't washed dishes for a week. It's a good thing I have a service for 16.

I did manage to build the closet in my new bedroom. I'm starting to tear the old bedroom apart so I can turn it into an office. I can't wait to move everything in there. I will have a living room AND a kitchen again!

I've been doing some networking on MySpace, and I'm starting to meet some interesting people. They don't seem to be coming here to read my blog, so I'm going to double-post it there too. Don't worry, you won't miss anything by reading it here. I barely have time to write this one up. There's no way I can write two different blogs!

Living like a man...

2006-10-23T21:53:00.000-05:00

Uh-oh. I got lost again, didn't I. Life just doesn't like to slow down for me. I'm constantly running to catch up.

Everybody is doing fine, except that fall is here and I'm cold. But I'm cold from October until late April, so that's nothing new.

My new bedroom is so…cozy. It's the only word that fits like a glove. I really sleep well in there. I feel safe and comfortable. I still have to build the closet, but the rest of the room is in pretty good shape. And I'm happy with it! :)

John Everson is going to be our guest in the Chatroom this Wednesday. Not only is he a multi-talented man, but he's great fun to have around. Since he last visited us, he has opened a small press publishing house. I can't wait to learn more about that project!

We're making a lot of changes at the Chatroom for next year. I've been hard at work revamping parts of the website. There's a lot more work to be done, but I have a to-do list, so I'm gradually marking things off. It's going to be even better for next year.

I have gotten some writing done, but not much. Right now I'm concentrating on the non-fiction book for single women. Yeah, it's a topic I know a lot about. And probably the way I'm going to live the rest of my life. But you know what? Being single isn't bad at all.

I'm my own boss. I don't have to please anyone else. I do what I want, when I want. I spend my money however I want to spend it. If I don't want to do something, I just don't do it. I can throw my dirty laundry on the floor, and it's nobody else's business. I only wash dishes once or twice a week. I don't clean until the dog hair gets thick enough that I can't see the color of the carpet.

Yep, you've got it. I live like a man!

Horror October

2006-09-30T10:12:00.000-05:00

Do you like to read horror stories? Then you want to check out the schedule for The Writer's Chatroom. October guests will all be horror authors. If you don't get the announcements, you can find the passwords on the Schedule page. Everybody is welcome!

Poquita (No, I didn't change his name) is doing fine. He let Jess and I take care of his stitches without any hassle, as long as Kaity was scratching him under the chin. Right there, it tells you he's a man. Just like any man, rub him where he wants rubbed and he'll go along with anything you want to do. ;)

Looks like I have a new client. The Rayne Drop Inn has been sold. I met with the new owners to discuss keeping me on as webmaster. Looks like I'm going to be doing their accounting too. Time to rearrange my entire schedule again. :)

I'm gradually getting my new bedroom set up. The bed is painted and set up. Now I'm painting the rest of the furniture before I move it in. The nightstand will go in today, and one dresser has the first coat on it. Another dresser and my make-up table to do, build the closet, and that project will be done. Then I can start getting the office (former bedroom) fixed up. THEN I can finally get my desk and file cabinets out of the living room. Not to mention getting the big printer out of the kitchen! I can't wait for my house to be finished. I've only been working on it for eight years. *sigh*

Time to get back to setting weekly goals, before Linda kicks my butt. She is very goal-oriented. And it shows in all her success. When I grow up, I want to be as organized as Linda is!

1. Get that last date in October booked for the chatroom.
2. Finish the dressers and get them moved.
3. Find curtains for the bedroom and office. You don't know what a job this is. I've been looking for what I want for three weeks now. Of course, what I want doesn't seem to be in style right now. I hate the thought, but I may end up making the curtains myself. I wonder where my sewing machine is?

Spayed AND Neutered!

2006-09-18T21:02:00.000-05:00

I’m sure you remember Poquita, the sweet little kitten I brought home a few months ago. Last week it was time for her to go to the vet and get spayed. I was a nervous wreck. Major surgery for my little baby!

I dropped her off Thursday morning. The vet gave her a shot to relax her. Soon she looked like a furry version of me with a kidney stone, after they shoot me full of Demerol. She purred away, off-key, and didn't care what anybody did to her. That's how I left her.

Friday, I went back to pick her up. The minute the vet saw me, he started laughing. Since I was so worried, I didn't see what could possibly be so funny. He said "Ah, you're here for your little boy cat!"

I froze. He gave someone else my baby! I said "No, it was a little girl cat I left with you."

He shook his head. "No it wasn't. That was a boy…sort of."

It took a while to get the entire story, because the vet was laughing so hard. It seem he knocked Quita out, strapped her down and shaved her furry little belly. He sliced her open and found…nothing to remove. He looked back by her tail, and there was no sac. He grabbed the clippers and shaved her the rest of the way back to her tail. Boy cat. Still no sac.

He did some examining and finally found two tiny testicles inside her…his body. Underdeveloped and un-descended. He removed them, once he found them.

So poor Poquita went to the doctor's office a girl, turned into a boy, and rapidly became an it. S/he still is barely speaking to me. He glares at me, then sits back and looks at the six little hot pink stitches running up his belly. The he glares some more.

Thursday, I get to take the stitches out. I think I'm going to need help.

Goals: met and unmet

2006-09-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

Another busy week, but I did a little bit better on getting things done.

I didn't send two chatroom invites, I sent three. And two of them have been accepted already. That's half of October covered. Yea!

Didn't get Jess' printer working, because I don't seem to be free when she's home. I think that goal will have to go on the back burner, and I'll just do it sometime I happen to be at her house.

Not only called the new owners of The Rayne Drop, but got a chance to talk to them both Saturday night. It looks like we'll be working together in the future.

Put together ideas for redoing my coaching page. Now to find the time to do the actual writing. I did make some changes to the chatroom announcement templates.

An editor friend of mine, Ed Easley, offered to read the rough (VERY rough) draft of Talk to the Animals. I haven't gotten his thoughts back yet, but I'm holding my breath. This will be the first time anyone has seen the whole thing. And he's a professional. I'm nervous.

Goals for this week:

1. Attend a county commissioner's meeting on Wednesday. We're trying to establish a County Commission for Women, and I think I'd like to be involved with that one. Who knows? I may end up in politics yet. lol

2. Take care of Poquita, and give her lots of TLC. My furry baby goes to the vet on Thursday for an overnight. I remember what a rough time I had after my hysterectomy, so I'm trying to leave a lot of time to just be there for her. Tomorrow or Wednesday I'm picking up a carrier for her, so she can travel in style.

3. Get B&B2 submitted to Conversely. I think that's a good possible market for it. Hopefully, they think so too.

Going through withdrawal...

2006-09-04T22:51:00.000-05:00

What a week! My phone lines were out for three days last week. No phone…NO INTERNET! I thought I was going to lose my mind. I was running all over the place, carrying my trusty memory stick. To be honest, last week's entry here was posted from the memory stick, via a borrowed DSL connection. When everything finally came back, I downloaded over 800 new email messages. Do you know how long it has taken to get caught up?

Top that off with the fact that my daughter has a case of Shingles inside her ear. I've been worried sick about her. Without a phone to check on her, I had to keep running to her house to see how she was doing. The first night, I combined the two errands and used her net connection. But then her phones went out too.

A bit crazy making. But things have settled down a bit now, at least for the moment. Jess seems to be responding to the meds she's on. I've cleaned up most of the emails. Caught up on the online work that didn't get done for three days. And now I'm talking to you! :)

Last week's goals got a bit lost in the shuffle. I did one crit, printed all the lessons, laid the carpet and moved the bed. Two coats of paint on the frame, and everything is all moved and set up. I don't have to sleep on the floor tonight!

Time for this week's goals. Hopefully, life doesn't do another flip, so I can get these accomplished.

1. Send 2 chat invites. Gotta start booking guests for Horror October.

2. Get Jess' printer working for her. (So I can print things from the net next time I have to use her connection.)

3. I handle the website for The Rayne Drop Inn. It has been sold, so this week I will contact the new owners to see what they intend to do with the site.

4. START rewriting my coaching page. Hopefully finish it, but I'm not pushing it.

Wish me luck!

Weekly Goals

2006-08-30T14:19:00.000-05:00

You know, I lecture people all the time on updating their blogs regularly. Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Time for me to start taking my own advice, no matter how busy I am.

The Writer's Chatroom has a new forum, and I've been posting weekly goals there. I'm also taking a class in time management. So I've decided to move my goals here, and kill two birds with one stone. Not that I have anything against birds…unless they're flying over my head and…ah well, you get it.

As you've probably guessed, posting my goals really hasn't gotten them done. Something else always seems to come up and the goals get put aside. I like a schedule, but I've learned to roll with the punches. Some weeks punch hard, while others just give me a love tap.

When I get to the end of the week and haven't achieved my goals, I take a good look at the week and figure out what I accomplished instead. Normally, I still made progress, so I don't worry about it. I always seem to get done what NEEDS to be done, and that's good enough.

Last weeks goals didn't get met. Instead of catching up on the time management class, I worked out proposals for three possible coaching clients. Balances out. Goals was to send out two guest invitations for the chatroom. Instead, I canceled one guest. OOPS! Ok, occasionally I slip a bit.

Goal was to find two more markets for my short story, Beauty and the Beast II. Instead, I found two free contests I want to enter. Balance.

Goal was to update the coaching page on my website. Instead, I wrote a proposal for a website and contacted two people about doing some ghostwriting. Check!

Ok, some of you may not feel that I accomplished what I should have. The main thing is, I go with my gut. The only person I have to please is myself, and I did. So THERE! ;)

This week's goals:

1. Write two critiques that I owe people.

2. Print off the rest of the lessons for the class, so I can finish them up on my own schedule. See? That's time management.

3. Get my daughter's printer set up and working for her.

4. Finish laying the carpet in my new bedroom, and tear down the bed. Yes, I'll be sleeping on the floor for a while, because I'm going to paint the bed frame before I put it back together. I've slept on a mattress on the floor before. No big deal.

5. Write 2 book reviews. I've got about a dozen books here that I've read and want to review. Hope I can remember what they were about when I get to it.

There we go. Now I have things to push aside when new paying work comes along. Or a date. Or something else more interesting.

I love being in charge of my own life. :)

Bush's veto

2006-07-22T01:29:00.000-05:00

Have you been following this story? I get online newspaper headlines from the left and from the right, to make sure I can get both sides of news stories.

One side says Bush vetoed stem cell research, and is condemning people with diseases to death. The other side says Bush is protecting unborn children, and showing how Christian he is. As usual, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

From what I can find out, what Bush vetoed was FEDERAL FUNDING for stem cell research. As I've read it, private companies and private grant foundations are free to fund whatever research they want. He just refuses to let the government pay for it.

My question is, where are these stem cell embryos coming from? The side that wants lots of research says they are coming from in-vitro fertilizations that are no longer wanted. But how many of those are there? I've read quite a few stories about people who have these embryos, but refuse to hand them over to researchers.

If they can't get unwanted in-vitro embryos, where is the next place to find them? Yep. Early pregnancies that are aborted. So if there is more money for research, there will be more embryos needed, right? How long until women start getting pregnant and selling the embryos? Or selling their eggs to be fertilized in a Petri dish?

I wonder what the going rate is. Just think of the drug addicts who could find new funding for their addictions!

Are my facts wrong? Give me some links to check out!

Climax!

2006-06-27T22:34:00.000-05:00

Control yourself. My NOVEL climaxed, not me.

Yes, I finally finished the first draft of Talk to the Animals. And it only took four years!

Of course, now the work starts. I have to rewrite the entire thing, tie up all the loose ends and whip it into shape.

Anybody have an extra whip? Hmmm...that takes my mind elsewhere...

2006-05-29T12:06:00.000-05:00

I've been a slacker here. I have too many irons in the fire. And I'm about to add one more.

This week, I plan to open for business as a writing coach. Not necessarily a book coach, although I will take on someone who has a book they need help with. But I will also work with writers just starting out, short story writers, or people who freelance articles. Look for an announcement later this week.

My family has grown by one. The picture at the left is my new baby, Poquita. She's a little thing, but growing fast. And there is nothing little about the energy she has! She's a ball of fire.

Some of you long-time readers may remember Scarf, the cat I lost about 18 months ago. He was my muse, and the one who kept me writing. Since he was killed my writing has dropped off the radar. My novel-in-progress, "Talk to the Animals", hadn't made much headway in over a year.

Poquita is stepping up and taking over Scarf's old job. Last night, I added two chapters to the story. Last week, I changed one character, added another, and picked a different murderer. I'm only about two chapters from the end of the first draft! Of course, the rewrite is going to be a big job, since all the characters have changed. But rewrites I can do.

Life is busy. But it's good. :)

Happy Easter!

2006-04-17T17:48:00.000-05:00

It was a good weekend. Rick showed up unexpectedly on Thursday. He hid his truck at Jess' house so I didn't know he was here. When I came in from work and grocery shopping, he hid in the basement and scared the crap out of me. If he's going to do things like that, he needs to learn CPR!

Once my heart was beating normally again, he took me out for dinner. On the way back, his radiator blew a hole. So Friday was spent getting his truck towed to the garage, and getting a new radiator. An expensive repair, but it was probably much cheaper here than it would have been down in Pittsburgh.

We didn't have any other disasters, so the rest of the weekend was great. We caught up with each other's lives, watched so many movies I lost count, and ate constantly. Just what we normally do when he comes home for a weekend!

But now it's back to work. My brochures hit 1100 local businesses late Thursday afternoon. Since a lot of places were closed Friday and today, I didn't expect to hear anything until Tuesday or Wednesday. Wrong! I already have my first client project scheduled. With the great deal the Chamber gave me for mailing the brochures, this one project may cover the entire cost. Anything more is profit.

Linda and I talked this morning about creating some products to put for sale on the Chatroom website. We've got great ideas, terrific knowledge to sell, and a ready-made audience for the products. Now if we can just find time to WRITE THEM!

Back to work!

A Man's Man

2006-04-10T21:43:00.000-05:00

Have you heard of Doug Giles? I've been reading his op-ed articles for a while now. No, I don't agree with everything he says. But I'm getting into his series on "Raising Boys That Feminists Will Hate".

Now, I AM a woman. But I'm a woman who has been on her own for quite a while. Why? Not for lack of trying, I'll tell you that! I would love to have a good man in my life. The reason I don't, is because I can't find a good man with a backbone. Either they want to push me around, or they want me to protect and take care of them. No thanks to both!

I'm looking for a man who can stand on his own two feet, make his own decisions, and do it all while respecting me and my opinions. Hopefully, Doug Giles will spark some of the weak men to grow a backbone.

I've got my fingers crossed.

I'm...tired

2006-04-09T22:10:00.000-05:00

A busy life should be a good thing, right? Most of the things I do, I enjoy. I think I'm just enjoying a few too many things lately.

Business is growing, and may take another sudden leap soon. I couldn't pass up the chance to send out brochures for $.10 each. So, the beginning of this week, 1,100 brochures for my business will hit my local area. 2-3% response is considered good for direct mail. But 1% response would be 11 new clients. I sure hope some of them don't mind being on a waiting list! I think I would prefer a .5% response. That I could handle.

Glenn is still in the hospital, so Linda, Renee and I have been busy keeping up with the chatroom. Diana recently joined our team, so that should ease the load a bit.

Miss Financial Whiz here (me) was spending all her time taking care of everyone else's books, and slipped up on my own. I had to pay in $1100 to the IRS, because I miscalculated my self-employment taxes. At least I handled the accounts right for my clients!

It's late, and I'm beat. I just wanted to stop in and post to let my readers (who rarely comment!) know that I'm still around. And I'll be back sooner next time. :)

Am I a coach?

2006-03-24T18:39:00.000-05:00

So much for posting more often. lol

I'm considering adding another career to my over-flowing plate...coaching. Either life coaching or book coaching.

This past week I had two teleconferences with a life coach, to see what it's like. And next Wednesday, we are having a book coach as our guest in the chatroom. I have LOTS of questions to ask her.

I've always enjoyed helping other people. If I can do that and make a living at the same time, how could it not be a good thing?

Have you ever used a coach, other than for sports? What did you think of it? Did it help you? Was it worth the money?

I'll keep you updated.

Busy!

2006-03-17T14:55:00.000-05:00

You know, I keep preaching to people that a blog doesn't do you any good if you don't update it regularly. Guess it's time to listen to my own advice.

Life has been crazy lately. I got three new client projects this month. I put in bids on two yesterday, and I'm researching two more. Plus, I'm looking into adding another line of work to my business. Lots of time to update blogs, right?

Maybe I'll try to stop in here every couple days, and just make a short post. I'm one of those over-achievers who thinks she has to write a book everytime she posts. Listen to my own advice again, and just do it!

Every day, I seem to run into something that makes me think "I should put this on my blog". Instead, I pile them up until I get around to it, and then forget why I thought they were important. Time to do it when I think of it, and quit waiting around.

Hey, I should get better at this soon. Next week I'm attending a teleclass on "Beating Procrastination"! Yes, it took me a month to get around to signing up for it, but I did manage it.

Teleclasses are difficult for me, because I have a partial hearing loss. But if this is the only way to beat my problems, I'll have to go out and buy a phone with a volume button. Or maybe a headset.

Help me out here folks.

How do you beat procrastination?

Do you use a telephone headset at home? Does it help you hear more clearly?

Happy birthday Becca!

2006-02-26T22:52:00.000-05:00

I have to introduce you to Becca. Some of you have been reading me for a while now, and will remember the miracle granddaughter I got two years ago. This is her birthday picture, and I think you can see that she has her grandma's attitude. That big smile is because she got her own way. She wore the clothes SHE wanted to wear, and posed the way SHE wanted. She is very independent. lol

Strange. I decided I wasn't doing other people's taxes this year. So far, I've done 8 returns…and mine is still sitting here to be done. lol

I had an interesting meeting with a possible client on Saturday. If this works out, I may double my income…working from home. That would be very nice!

We now have a blog at the Chatroom site too. You can check it out here.

We have some good guests coming up too. Remember, Wednesday chats aren't just for writers. They are for readers too. Keep an eye on our schedule. You just might find an author you enjoy reading. Join in for a chance to talk directly to them, live!

Superbowl...commercials

2006-02-07T22:41:00.000-05:00

How did I get so far behind? I've got a pile of data-entry here to do, and at least three tax returns. I still haven't managed to get all my flyers printed up. And the chatroom site needs more work.

What did you think of the Superbowl commercials? I was disappointed this year. There weren't too many that really stuck in my mind.

One of the early commercials for FedEx was good. A caveman was fired for not using FedEx. He tells his boss that FedEx hasn't been invented yet, and the boss says "Not my problem." The poor caveman stomps out and kicks a small dinosaur. Immediately, a huge foot smashes him flat. Just not his day, I guess.

One other one sticks in my mind. I'm thinking it was a Budweiser ad, but I'm not sure. It was a continuation of last year's ad, where the horses are playing football. This year, as they get ready for the kick-off, a shorn sheep runs onto the field and starts dancing around. Two cowboys are watching the game, and shake their heads. One mutters "Streaker." The sheep continues to dance, and all the other animals in the "stands" roll around on the ground laughing. The sheep stands on it's hind legs and shakes its booty. The cowboy turns his head and murmurs "I didn't need to see that."

A few other scenes come to mind, but I couldn't tell you what companies they were for. The guy who works with monkeys talks on the phone with a woman who works with a bunch of jackasses. I get a kick out of those commercials, but I don't remember what they are for. Which defeats the entire reason for a company to pay all that money for an ad.

Which one did you like best?

Updates to former posts

2006-02-01T20:29:00.000-05:00

They canceled it!

"The Book of Daniel" has been canceled. Just like that. People complained about it, the advertisers ran and hid, and the show was pulled from the schedule. I've read some of the complaints, and you know what? A lot of those people never watched the show. They had facts wrong and gave opinions based on someone else's opinion, not the actual show. Now that really ticks me off. If you want to complain about something, at least know what you're talking about first.

Better news is that The 4400 will be coming back. It has been renewed for another 13 episodes. Filming should start soon, and it's scheduled to run this summer. It's been a long wait, but I'm sure the show will be worth it.

In personal stuff, my daughter had surgery last week. She's back on her feet and doing good, but I'm running about 2 weeks behind on everything. Not that I spent that much time taking care of her after the surgery. I was just so worried before surgery that I couldn't concentrate on anything. Now I'm running hard to try and catch up.

Socks is doing much better. He seems to have recovered from his stroke. He is still a bit weak and has some balance trouble, but he's almost back to his old self. He's started barking at people again, so that's a good sign.

I ran across an interesting site today. I get Fred Gleck's newsletter and he mentioned his personal site. So I had to check it out. I've emailed to let him know how much I enjoyed it, but that I'm probably not the right woman for him. I am considering doing something similar for myself though. What do you think? Check it out here.

"The Book of Daniel"

2006-01-07T23:43:00.000-05:00

Holy cow! Did you see the new show on NBC, "The Book of Daniel"? I taped it last night, and just finished watching it. Now there's a show to watch!

Daniel is an Episcopal minister. His wife has a drinking problem. They have three adopted children. The oldest son is gay. The other son is messing around with the daughter of a rich man, who can hurt Daniel very much. The daughter was arrested for possession of marijuana. She wasn't using though, "just" selling. Is this enough? Nope!

Daniel's brother-in-law was handling money for the church. Over 3 million raised to build a new school…and Charlie ran off with the money. Or did he? Well, the mafia has found the money, but they want to play "Let's make a deal" before they give it back.

Daniel's mother has Alzheimer's. His father, the Bishop, is having an affair with another, female, bishop. And Daniel himself is developing a problem with Vicodin. Oh, and did I mention that Daniel has conversations with Jesus?

The conversations with Jesus are the kicker to this show. As he tells Daniel, "I talk to everyone. But very few listen." Daniel and Jesus have an easy, friendly relationship. Jesus doesn't threaten or give orders, he just points out that Daniel does know what's right, he just has to put forth the effort to do the right thing.

Jesus adds some terrific laughter to the show. When Daniel accidentally sees his sister-in-law being VERY cozy with another woman, he turns, in shock, to Jesus. Jesus throws out his arms and says something on the order of "Who woulda guessed?"

This is not a religious show. It's a show about a good man who is trying desperately to live a good life. But life itself keeps getting in his way. The character of Jesus in the show is pretty much like I see Jesus. Someone to talk to and reason things out with, but he's not going to order you around or strike you with lightning if you make a mistake.

In the series opener, Daniel loses his temper and says "God damn him!" The he clarifies to his wife, "I'm not taking the Lord's name in vain. I really want God to damn him!" The man turns up dead shortly after, and Daniel is overwhelmed with guilt. When he shares it with Jesus, Jesus chuckles and says "Drop the guilt. You don't have that much power."

This is a show that brings religion into the reality of everyday life. I sure hope it finds an audience, because this is one I won't miss. And I'm not a big fan of TV.

Who else watched it? Please comment, and let me know what you thought!

Happy Birthday to me....

2005-12-11T23:30:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday…oh, sorry. Got lost there. But it wasn't a bad one. :)

Very interesting week! I was told Wednesday night that I had been nominated to the Board of Directors of the Chamber of Commerce. I wasn't chosen for the board, but the story is that there was discussion before they decided that I hadn't been in business long enough. That's fine with me! I'm just amazed to hear that someone nominated me. With 22 people for 3 positions, losing isn't a big deal. Hey…maybe next year?

I also had a scare this week. Socks, my big dog, had a stroke the other night. He wasn't getting around very good for a few days. Today, he's still having some balance problems, but he was out making snow angels. Made me feel much better. Here is a picture of him from summertime. He's a husky/pit bull mix. Weighs 130 lbs, so helping him walk around for a few days wasn't the easiest thing. But he's my baby, and I love him.

The new Chatroom site is up and running. www.writerschatroom.com . Check it out and let me know what you think. Some of the pages are a bit empty yet, but we're working on them. Check the schedule too. We have some great guests coming up.

Rick got his driver's license the beginning of November. Last week, he hit a deer. He's a bit ticked that he lived in the country all his life, and then hit a deer in Pittsburgh. See? I knew the city was a dangerous place! A few years ago, I hit my first deer. You can read about it here.

People like to hear me talk...

2005-11-20T01:19:00.000-05:00

Well, I gave my speech. I didn’t feel that it was nearly as good as it could have been. But obviously I was still good enough. Check out the write-up here. Look on the right for “Greetings from our President”.

I have a new client, so that means there will be Christmas presents from my household this year. I wasn’t real sure for a while there, but things always seem to work out in the end.

What do you do when you have loads of ideas, but simply can’t find the time to make them happen? I cleaned off my desk tonight and went through piles of paper. I found notes on loads of ideas I’ve had. Things like three books that would sell, a syllabus for a high school class I would love to make happen, dozens of companies I wanted to contact for business, articles I want to write, etc. Enough ideas to keep a writer busy for two years. Now if this writer could just fine more then an hour a day to write, I’d be in business.

I have been keeping to my schedule better, so at least some things are getting done. The chatroom should be up and running on it’s own site by the end of the month, and my site will be moving to a new host by the end of the year. This is progress!

Obviously, I need to put updating this blog on my schedule. Then I can talk to you every week. I think I’ll give it a try.

If you are looking for something to read, don’t forget to check out my book review blog. The best part is getting to review books from authors I’ve met. Richard Montanari was not only very interesting to talk to, but his books are great to read.

Let’s try to get together again next week!

Harriet Miers

2005-10-29T21:41:00.000-05:00

Am I the only one not surprised by Miers withdrawing? I've expected it for quite a while. I didn't think it was a serious nomination from the start.

After the first few days of news reports showing how unqualified she was, I figured that it was part of a Bush plan. I don't know what his plan is, but I still think there is one.

I think Miers was the set-up, and Congress should brace itself for the punch line. Bush isn't stupid. (You don't get to be President of the US by being stupid.) I'm pretty sure that this went exactly the way it was supposed to. I feel that somehow, the whole Miers thing is going to be used against Congress to force them to okay the person Bush REALLY wanted on the court.

I could be wrong. We'll see, won't we?

Catching Up

2005-10-14T13:52:00.000-05:00

Wow, I really dropped the ball here didn’t I?

July and August were so crazy-busy that my head was spinning. Jess’s husband, Tom, ended up in a hospital in Pittsburgh. For a while we thought we were going to lose him. I filled in taking care of the kids as much as possible, so Jess could be with Tom. He’s fine now, but it was scary for a while.

Then Danielle had some tests done, and found a growth in her breast. With my history, we were all terrified. We made a couple trips to Pittsburgh too. Thankfully, it turned out to be fibrous, not cancer. What great relief!

I’ve finally got my life organized again (to some extent). One of my client jobs has become a work-at-home job, and I really like that. I’ve got some things in the works to bring in new clients. A fancy, full-color brochure is coming up in the next couple weeks. The chatroom will be moving to its own website, instead of being part of mine. I’m giving a speech for a local business group on the 25th.

And I’ve finally started the rewrite on “Talk to the Animals”. For those of you who read parts previously, expect some major changes in the finished product!

And you can start watching this spot again. I will be posting a lot more often. :)

4400

2005-08-31T20:55:00.000-05:00

All right all you 4400 fans, give me your opinions!

Will Kyle go to prison?

Will Shawn sleep with the suddenly grown-up Isabelle? (I know kids grow up fast, but that was a bit ridiculous.)

Will the crazy doctor gain powers too?

Aren't you glad that nerdy Marco finally got the girl? Like we didn't see that coming for a long time.

Who the heck was that guy on the beach? I thought a trailer for "Castaway" got mixed in there. Is he the one who was inside Kyle all this time?

And the biggest question of all...

When does the next season start?!?!?

*sigh* I guess it's back to Desperate Housewives for a while.

PUBLISHED!

2005-08-03T20:32:00.000-05:00

My first paid article is published!

Check it out at http://www.fundsforwriters.com/commercial.htm

:)

July 31, 2005

2005-07-31T21:16:00.000-05:00

Another crazy two weeks. You know, I’ve only worked 2-3 days a week for the past 15 months. This month, I’ve worked 4-5 days a week in client’s offices, and then came home and worked some more. Add to that spending 25-30 hours a week on chatroom stuff…yeah, I’m beat!

But it’s a good tired. My bills are paid and I have some money in my emergency fund again. That’s a huge relief. But the simple fact that I’m making this business work is satisfying too. Back in November and December, I wasn’t sure at all. I was using my credit card to pay my bills, and things looked pretty bleak. I kept telling myself that building a clientele takes time, but my faith was wavering. Now I feel much more secure. Sure, some of these client jobs are going to end, but I now feel confident that more will come along to replace them. Right now, I’m negotiating to turn one of them into a work-at-home job.

I’ve come to realize that simply believing that I can do this is making it happen. I’ve taken some chances, and done some things I normally wouldn’t have done. I did them because I believed this would work. And it has. As all the big name inspirational writers say, believing makes it real.

I haven’t had time to dig in the basement lately, and the tire on my wheelbarrow is flat too. But now I know I’m not looking for a body. It seems that I’m looking at the remains of a jerk with a backhoe. The nutcase who owned this house years ago decided that he was going to do some landscaping in the back yard. Of course, he made the slope worse then it was. But he also got too close to the house and knocked out three rows of blocks in the foundation. This means that my house is sitting on that dirt in the basement. So I have to change my battle plan. I will dig it out in sections, jack up the house as I go, and replace the foundation. This project is going to take years. But I’m going to live here for years anyway, so at least I know I’ll have something to keep me busy in the summers.

Those of you who know me in person will know that I’m not much of a traveler. I get too far from home, I get panic attacks. I’m claustrophobic, and can’t drive through tunnels. If there are more then four lanes in the road, panic rears it’s head. So you will be surprised to hear that I’m headed for New York City the beginning of October. Of course, I’m doing it carefully.

Linda Hutchinson, Ronii Grace and I are going on this road trip together. Linda (bless her!) is doing the driving. She is also arranging for rooms in NYC, and trying to get us tickets to the Letterman show. She is also the one who discovered this opportunity to (possibly) be seen on the CBS Morning Show. Come on now, when someone else is willing to do all the hard work, how can I say no to the trip? Gee, I sure hope Linda wants to go to Cancun next, and doesn’t want to go alone!

The chatroom is organized again, and running smoothly. Once again, I owe huge thanks to Linda Hutchinson (yes, the same Linda) and Renee Barnes for all their help. How in the world Glenn did this himself, I’ll never know. It’s WAY too much work! But when you break it down and share the load, it’s much more manageable.

Are you a writer? Do you like to read? The Writer’s Chatroom has something for you, either way. Check out the schedule and see who’s coming up!

July 16, 2005

2005-07-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

Read past messages here

“This business of being successfully self-employed is for the birds. I changed my mind. I don’t want to be successful. I want to have clean laundry, an unrushed meal, and mow the lawn. Most of all, I want to get some sleep. I’m about ready to go out and get a regular job again!”

I wrote that on Thursday. Today, I caught up on my billing. $1200 worth of billable hours in the past two weeks changed my attitude. Suddenly, I’m not quite so tired.

I’ve made a little bit of headway on the basement. I’m in about 4 feet now, and the solid wall is turning into a slope. My driveway is much smoother too, since that’s where the dirt and rocks are going. I’m not sure where I’m going to dispose of them after the driveway is done.

Barb and Sue are very interested in my dig. They have started thinking that there is a body under all that dirt. If there is, I sure hope I find it soon. If I find a body, I’m sure the police will come in and finish the digging for me. I could use a little help. lol

I am getting organized, a bit, so I should be posting here more often. This blog is taking the place of the “Message” page on my website. It’s a lot easier to update a blog then it is to update an entire website. This is one of the steps I’m taking to make better use of my time. Gotta spend more time on billable hours, you know. :)

Wal-Mart Kerfluffle

2005-05-18T02:44:00.000-05:00

The New York Times says Wal-Mart has an obligation to pay its employees more money. I’d like to know where this obligation came from. Is it in the constitution? Is it in the incorporation papers? Could it be a state law?

This whole thing is ridiculous. Wal-Mart is a publicly owned company. The only “obligation” it has is to its stock holders. They are the owners of the company. If Wal-Mart didn’t make a profit, they would have to close their doors.

The flap seems to be that “learned scholars” don’t think Wal-Mart employees earn “a living wage”. Wow, WM employees must be dropping like flies! How many of them are living on the street or dying of starvation? These “scholars” scream that WM employees are eligible for food stamps, so this means WM has to pay them more.

I doubt if the complainers shop at WM. They don’t have to. They go to upper scale stores and pay more. That’s fine for them, but what about all the people who can’t afford to pay more? That is who WM caters to. Thanks to WM and other discount stores, low income people can afford to buy groceries, clothing, etc. If they have to raise their wages, they will have to raise their prices. Their workers will take home more money, but won’t be able to buy any more then they did before.

So what is a “living wage” anyway? I remember a story last year about a woman who complained about having to pay $20 a month for her children’s health insurance. She said it wasn’t fair to make her pay that money. She would have to cut back on something else to cover it. What would she have to cut back on? Well, she said she would either have to give up her internet service or her cable TV.

When did internet access or cable TV become a necessity of life? I’ve always considered them a luxury. If you can’t afford it, you don’t have it. Plain and simple.

This country is spoiled. Too many people think everything they want should be handed to them on a silver platter. The concept of working for the things you want has been lost. Even further in the past is the concept of saving up for something. Americans want it all, and they want it NOW. Preferably paid for by someone else.

Time to wake up and smell the coffee. No, not the Starbucks fancy coffee, but the plain instant stuff you can afford on your low wage job. If you can’t afford it, you don’t have any right to drink Starbucks coffee.

America, get your head out of your butt. If you want nicer things, make more money. If your job doesn’t pay enough for what you want, get some training and find a better job. Or work two jobs. If you can afford a roof over your head, food on the table and clothes on your back, you’re making enough to live on. A “living wage” doesn’t entitle you to luxuries. You have to work for them.

(Yes, I used “kerfluffle” because I’m a fan of Opinion Journal. And I just get a kick out of the word.)

Presidential Press Conference

2005-04-28T23:37:00.000-05:00

I’m not a politician. I don’t know a lot about politics either, but I’m trying to learn. A lot of this could be wrong, but this is what I got from the press conference on TV tonight.

I think the US Congress got spanked. President Bush started off pointing out that Congress needs to get to work and accomplish something. I’m all for our elected officials doing some work. With what we pay them, I don’t think we get nearly enough work from most of them.

What I’ve heard about “filibusters” sounds to me like a stupid, selfish thing. If you disagree with what is said, you can bring the congress to a total halt just by talking about nothing? Isn’t the US government based on majority rule? Then why does the minority have the right to bring things to a halt? I can see why the minority would want it, but doesn’t that give them more control then the majority? If they have something to discuss, then fine. But when they just ramble on with nothing to say, just to keep the rest from voting, I think it’s wrong. Somebody explain to me why this is a good thing.

Bush rambled, as usual, but I don’t personally feel that his manner of speech is bad. I kind of like listening to a president who doesn’t sound like a robot. Preparation is good, but let’s hear his thoughts, not some speechwriter’s words coming from his mouth.

I think Bush gave an excellent definition of how Social Security works. He makes it so clear and easy to understand, and I think that’s wonderful. More clarity in our government would probably fix a lot of problems.

I’m all for individual retirement accounts, but I’m a bit confused as to some of the arguments against them that I’m hearing. My understanding is that these accounts would give people control over what type of investment part of their Social Security is held in. Isn’t this what it’s all about? Or is it just IRAs like we have now? The “pundits” keep talking about how people won’t be able to save enough money. But won’t this money be taken out of their pay, just like it is now? If it’s taken straight from your paycheck, and you can’t withdraw it until you retire, where is the problem? And isn’t this something that will start after the law was passed? How is this going to break the bank and make the government borrow millions of dollars? I want more info on this.

I didn’t hear Bush say that he wouldn’t pass any plan that didn’t include individual accounts. He said he really wants them and can’t see any way to do it without them. To me, that sounds like a challenge for Congress to come up with something else. Can they get a better plan? He wants to see it.

I don’t know all the details on the whole Bolton flap. What I’ve read said that he yelled at a woman who worked for him…twenty years ago? What does that have to do with him representing us to the UN now? He was rude twenty years ago. I’ve acted in ways that people who worked under me probably didn’t like. When you’re the boss, sometimes you have to set people straight. Yelling at them isn’t the best way, of course, but does this mean that you can’t be a UN representative if you’ve ever lost your temper? Let’s find that perfect person. I don’t know them.

If Bush says we will pull our troops out of Iraq in 10 months, what will that do? My first thought is that the insurgents will lay low for the next 10 months, building up their secret networks. Once we leave, they will rise up and cause more trouble then they are now. How can this be a good thing? I prefer to have it made clear that we will stay there until we aren’t needed. We can’t desert the Iraqi people now.

47 Americans died in Iraq this month. How many died in the US? How many people died in auto accidents? How many drank themselves to death? How many killed themselves? How many died of medical mistakes? 47 deaths from 139,000 people. It’s very sad, and I don’t think any deaths are good. But how is .0003% a huge death toll? How many Iraqis are alive who would have died this month under Saddam? How many Americans would have died if we hadn’t driven Al Quida underground? Let’s look at all the facts, not just some of them.

Tax reform sounds good, but he sure didn’t give us any details. I want to see the income tax system reformed, but I want to know the specifics of what he’s trying to do before I can agree or disagree with him.

So…what do you think?

Wouldn't treat a dog this way...

2005-04-05T19:08:00.000-05:00

On townhall.com, Phyllis Schlafly says (concerning Terri Schiavo), "We wouldn't permit anyone to treat a dog this way."

She is exactly right. We wouldn't treat a dog this way. If a dog was in the same shape that Schiavo was, we would take that dog to the vet and have it put to sleep. We wouldn't dream of extending the life of an animal that couldn't communicate or even move. Anyone who tried to keep a dog in that condition alive would be accused of cruelty to animals.

I am not advocating euthanasia. I believe there are times it would be the best thing, but if it were legal it would be abused. Just like everything else is. Just like the medical ability to keep a body "alive" can be misused.

Our doctors and hospitals have the ability to do amazing things today. The question is, should they? There comes a time when someone has to say "stop". Unfortunately, each case has to be considered individually. There is no hard-and-fast rule for when enough is enough. Or for when just one more thing needs to be tried.

I wish someone would have put a webcam in Schiavo's room, and let the world see just what condition she was really in. We have one side that says she was able to communicate, talk, laugh and knew what was going on around her. The other side says her brain was dead and she was an inert lump of flesh. Unless we were in that room and able to see her, we just don't know.

Which means that all reports from people who weren't in her room are just opinions without all the facts.

Including mine and Schlafly's.