My Two Cents

2009-08-12T14:19:00.003-05:00

Did ya think I disappeared? Well, I guess I did. Life got away from me this year. I'm trying to make a comeback...again.

The past year has been a rough one. I lost my brother to lung cancer last September. I didn't post about it because I didn't know what to say. I'm still trying to deal with it.

Those of you who have patiently followed me all this time are familiar with my huge dog, Socks. Unfortunately, Socks passed away in April. He was 11, and had been having health problems for two years. He faded away during the night. I miss him.

My grandmother wore out this summer. That's how the doctor put it. He said he couldn't fix her anymore because her body was just worn out. She hung on for a couple months, but in July she finally gave up. She went peacefully, with her children and some of her grandchildren around her. She's not in pain anymore.

That's my best explanation of why I haven't been more active around here. I've been on a bit of an emotional overload for a year now. No writing to amount to anything, moved my business from my home to an official office, and added a man to my life.

No, the roller coaster hasn't slowed down. I'm just hoping to find more ups than downs over the next year. And I hope to get here more often to keep you all updated!

Random Thoughts

2009-03-04T12:42:00.002-05:00

I've been so busy with work that I haven't kept up to this blog. Maybe if I slip over here occasionally, I can post snippits of things that are in my mind.

Hopefully, that will get them out of my head so I can concentrate on more important things.

This is something I never dreamed I would ever say: Jessica Simpson, you go girl!

It's jaw dropping to see someone in the public eye shrug their shoulders and accept being a size 10. Average size in the general population is 12-14. It's about time somebody on magazine covers looks like a real person.

Now if we could just do something with her mind... *sigh*

Ahoy, Matey!

2008-11-19T15:34:00.007-05:00

Yes, I'm still around. Life has slapped me up a bit over the past few months, but I'm making yet another comeback. Don't know if I'll get around to updating you on everything that's happened, but I wanted to share some new pictures with you.

My wonderful friend, Kim Richards Gilchrist, makes medieval costumes for LARPers (Live Action Role Players). When I mentioned that I would love to have a pirate shirt, she jumped right in and made me one.

To get an idea of the amazing job Kim does, check out the wedding gown she made for herself! And yes, I believe she made the suit for her king too. http://writerschatroom.com/2008/11/congratulations-and-best-wishes.html

People have been hearing since last December about my whip. Rick got me an 8 foot leather bull whip for my birthday last year. I don't think everybody believed it. So I put the pirate shirt, whip and a sword together for Halloween. (Keep in mind that pirate shirts are NOT slimming!) This was the result:

Kim's ebay store - http://stores.ebay.com/Robed-In-Fantasy

Marcia was taking the pictures and Sue was directing. They both kept yelling "Stop smiling! You're a mean, nasty pirate!" I did my best!

So, now you have proof. I really do have a whip, and I know how to use it!

BTW, the sword is real too. It's what I use to kill snakes that sneak into my house.

I'm not wearing my gun in THIS picture...

Nashville Has a Star!

2008-08-06T14:37:00.003-05:00

Hooray! Melissa pulled it off. She's the new Nashville Star. Look back at my 7/22 post. I called the darn thing after all!

I'm looking forward to following Melissa's career, but the one I want to hear perform right now is Shawn. I want to hear her sing some of her own songs. I'm an attitude person, and I loved hers. And what a wonderful loser. When she was eliminated, Gabe and Melissa both hugged her, and she was saying "It's okay. It's all good." Let's hear it for Shawn!

I just hope nobody tries to turn Gabe into a sex symbol. He's a clear contender for "the next George Strait". Let him follow in Strait's footsteps and eventually fill the spot. Don't try to make him into a pin-up, teen idol singer. That would be a disaster. And a great waste of talent.

I'm off to take Socks to the vet for a shot of his new medicine. He has perked up unbelievably in the past week! I swear the darn mutt looks two years younger. Wonder what I have to do to get some of those drugs?

.

Reprieve?

2008-08-01T12:20:00.002-05:00

Socks got a reprieve. The vet suddenly decided that all symptoms pointed quite clearly to another disease, not the one he was being treated for. After $300 in tests/medicine, we had one more test to do. Only $10. Results in 15 minutes.

Why we didn't START with this test, I don't know. Guess the vet must have had a credit card bill to pay.

Test was positive, of course. Another $10 for new drugs, $20 for the office visit. Come back next week. Grrr....

I'm almost afraid to say it, but he seems to be improving. Last night he went down the porch steps without falling. That hasn't happened for weeks. He's sleeping without crying out, let me brush him for a few minutes last night, and has recovered his appetite (unfortunate, since he needs to lose weight).

The vet said "I supposed you can kill your dog in cold blood, if you want to. But you can only kill him once." That was not called for. I was trying to end Socks' pain, not get rid of him. I'm boiling over that comment.

IF this works, and I get my healthy dog back, I'll calm down. But right now I'm afraid to hope, and I'm feeling heavily ripped off and abused by the vet. If this DOESN'T work, and I have to take Socks somewhere else to be put to sleep, I'm going to blast the vet all over the net.

At the moment, I still have my best friend and protector. That's good enough for today.

Okay, really down to the wire this time...

2008-07-29T16:01:00.003-05:00

I miscounted. There is one more week to the show. But last night was really good.

Did you notice how much happier and more professional they all seemed, after going home and acting like stars? Nothing like applause and worship from the people you grew up with, to make you feel like you're special. lol

Can't you see Shawn and Gretchen Wilson on stage together? Now THAT would be a concert to see! Shawn is having so much fun in this thing, it almost makes me want to give it to her. I still think somebody already offered her a contract. And that's an album I am interested in hearing.

We'll be hearing from Gabe. I hope Melissa wins, but I'm sure Gabe will get a contract too. If nothing else, to bring the hispanic population more into country music, like John Rich said. But I don't really think that will make a difference. Gabe deserves to be heard.

Coffey is obviously loved by his fans, but he's not country in my mind. Maybe that's California country he sings? I'm sure somebody will give him a record too. Maybe if he sings his own stuff, it will be better.

Melissa, you're my girl. All ten of my votes go to you tonight. Bring it on home.

+++++

Very sad news to report. My monster dog, Socks, has come to the end of his run. Tomorrow evening, we're off to the vet to close the book. Sock's health is so bad he can barely get on his feet anymore. He cries with pain, and cried from embarrassment twice last week when he had accidents on the floor. I can't let him suffer anymore.

He's been my friend, confidant and protector for ten years. Now it's time for me to be there for him, and stop his suffering. He wouldn't make me suffer.

Nashville Star: Down to the wire...

2008-07-22T15:54:00.003-05:00

Somebody needs to let Jewel know she's not a skinny little thing anymore. Those thighs need to be hidden a bit more. Five inch heels are for posing in, not trying to walk. She looked ridiculous.

And how dare she complain about the contestants stretching their voices? She was all over the place. That wasn't singing, she was doing scales.

Jeffrey is a songwriter, but he's not usually a singer is he? He seemed to be stretching and emoting more than what's-her-name earlier in the show. (Alyson?)

John Rich is John Rich. He's a great performer.

Coffey is going to have to write all his own songs. That was the first time he's really hit it all season. I DID like the song. A bit more pop than country, but I liked it.

Melissa is a star. And now we know she's a song writer too.

Is Gabe borrowing clothes from John Rich? Must be that "Texas boy" look. It works. Oh yeah. Great singing, good song. I was sidetracked by the jeans getting tighter every week. LOL

LOL Loved Ashlee's song! She's going to be around somewhere. That girl's got promise. I think Jeffrey is going to find someone to hook her up with.

Shawn has a future..and I still think she's already got a contract. Once she got away from John, she blossomed. There is definitely something going on for that girl these days.

My prediction! (And we all know how lousy I am at predicting this show.)

Winner - Melissa
2nd - Gabe
3rd - Shawn

I still don't know how Coffey got into the top 4. How did he beat out Ashlee? Makes no sense to me.

3 votes for Shawn, 7 for Melissa. Next week is the final, I think. Might be two weeks left.

Break out the champagne!

2008-07-15T16:37:00.003-05:00

Thank you America! The snippy little brats are gone!

John put the young one on the spot, and I loved it. She probably thinks she answered it well, but it was just what you'd expect from a selfish, immature little kid. I won't miss them at all.

Ashlee: Hon, you have seeds of greatness. More experience will make you a star. I don't think you're going to win this, but you're going to be around.

Gabe: A star. No question.

Coffey: The emotion was good, and needed. But I just don't care for his voice. I hope he finds the right field for him. I still don't think he's got what it takes for country.

Melissa: Did she try to hard? I just felt she was reaching a bit tonight. But she's ready for the road now. Give the girl her title.

Shawn: Perfect song, and she made it her own. That's the Shawn who is going to go somewhere.

Since my connection is so slow, I decided to try using the phone. I placed one vote for Gabe and two for Shawn, without a problem. Then I tried to vote for Melissa… "I'm sorry, all circuits are busy right now. Please try again later." I'm hoping it was the circuits for Melissa that were busy. Gabe is great, but he's going to get a contract anyway. I want to see Melissa win this. Between the internet and the phone, I finally managed to place 7 votes for Melissa.

BTW, what was up with Shawn tonight? Why do I have the feeling somebody offered her a recording contract, regardless of the outcome of the show? This is the girl who cried when she wasn't at the bottom. This week, she's at the bottom and has a fit of giggles? There was something going on there. Can't wait to find out what it was.

-------------------------------------

I promised more about my trip. I'm trying to cut it down to a reasonable reading length. But I've always been long-winded.

A bit of background: I'm a two time breast cancer survivor. In '97, they took a chunk from my breast and I had 9 weeks of daily radiation treatments. The radiation destroyed my teeth, but they said they killed all the cancer.

In '00, by a fluke, tests discovered a different form of cancer in the same breast. This time, it was the kind that spreads and kills. We rushed into surgery only days after the diagnosis. Mastectomy. Thankfully, we caught it early enough that removing the breast got all the cancer. 11 lymph nodes were completely clear.

Because of the radiation treatments 3 years previously, the skin on my breast was not salvageable. I came home from the hospital with a gaping hole in my chest, and had to grow new skin. The doctor didn't think I could do it without a skin graft, but I was determined. I felt that my chest was disfigured enough, I didn't want them taking pieces of skin from my legs too. I grew new skin.

Next was nine months of painful procedures to stretch the new skin enough to have reconstruction done. Even when I was thin, I had always been big breasted. I wore a mastectomy bra and a gel prosthesis at first, going to a fiber-filled pad as the skin was stretched. After nine months of pain, I'd had enough. The skin was stretched enough to give me a B-cup breast, but the remaining breast was almost a D. I told the doctor to reduce it to match, and get it over with. Early '01, reconstruction was done.

The new breast didn't really look like a breast, but as long as I was dressed, you couldn't tell the difference. Having half the chest I used to took some adjusting, but I did. Unfortunately, over the seven years since then, I've gained quite a bit of weight. Self-esteem problems, but that's another subject. Implants don't get bigger when you gain weight, but real breasts do.

While one breast was getting bigger, scar tissue was forming around the implant. It's a common problem called "encapsulation", and usually results in having to have the implant removed and replaced. Unfortunately, the scar tissue squeezes the implant, twisting it out of shape and making it look smaller.

So my real breast has grown to a C-cup, and the implant is squeezed down to between and A and B. I wear a pad in my bra to even them out. Nobody sees me without my fake breast. Nobody. To go to the mailbox, I either put my bra and pad on, or I throw on a sweatshirt that hides everything. Nobody sees me breast-less.

Back to the trip…

Saturday morning my roommates hauled me out of bed early. Fire alarms were going off, and we had to evacuate. I managed to step into my sneakers and throw a sweater over my nightgown before they shoved me out the door. We had to go down the stairs and we were on the 12th floor. Around the sixth floor, I woke up. That's when I looked down and realized I had on a thin jersey nightgown…and didn't have my breast.

Panic struck. I honestly turned around and tried to go back up the fire escape. The tide of people made that impossible.

By the time I stumbled down six more flights, I had managed to convince myself that life meant more than being seen deformed and disfigured. At first, I pulled my sweater tight around me, but it was already nearly 80 degrees. Sweating would make the nightgown more sheer, and that wasn't good at all.

I huddled into myself, wanting to disappear. Suddenly, I thought about all the things I had faced already, and came through just fine. Travel, crowds, tunnels…and I was alive. Why worry about a handful of silicone gel? I turned around, and saw people I knew. I let go of my sweater, walked over, and did what I do best. I made people laugh and forget their problems.

Nobody said a word about my lop-sided chest. I didn't notice anyone staring at it. If anyone did, that's their problem. I'm not ashamed to be a survivor.

There is more to the story, but this post is already too long. Maybe next week. :)

Nashville Star continued

2008-07-08T16:44:00.004-05:00

Melissa was top vote getter last week. The viewers are finally getting their heads together. And she kicked it again tonight.

Laura and Sophie, go home. Did you catch the younger one sneering at Jewel later in the show? Send that little snit home to learn how to act like a professional.

Gabe not only stepped it up, the little film at the beginning (about him taking dance lessons) shows that he's willing to learn, and to do whatever it takes to make it happen. I'm looking forward to him and Melissa going head to head at the end.

Oh Shawn, why? Your strongest asset is your kick-ass attitude. Stop trying to be sweet and soft. You fire John Rich, then go soft? Forget it girl. Your days are severely numbered.

Coffey, go home. Find something suited to your voice and manner. You're not bad, but you're not country.

Ashlee took off her shoes and became a challenger! Jonny Lang became a star in his bare feet. Why not Ashlee?

Pearl Heart never did find a lead singer. They could have a great career as back up singers, but they don't have a front person. You don't make a group work without a front person.

Tommy and Pearl Heart are gone. It's coming down to the wire. My predictions…don't seem to be right. Which is probably understandable, since I'm not a country music fan.

My HOPE is that Laura and Sophie go next week, and Coffey. Then we're down to losing someone I don't want to go.

My votes are: 1 for Ashlee to help keep her around, 1 for Gabe, and 3 for Melissa.

Sorry Gabe, you're really kicking it hon, but I gotta stand up for my girl. I'm more than willing to give you the number 2 spot!

=====================

I had a great trip! Coming home, I even managed to breath in the tunnel. I couldn't talk, and I was gasping, but that's improvement. Someday, I'll be able to drive through tunnels and not even notice them...I hope.

A lot happened over the weekend, but I'm not sure where to start. I was writing it up last night and it grew to four pages. When I read it over, I realized that some of it was a bit too personal to post to the web, and I don't do private posts.

[Side snit: I absolutely hate it when people make a blog post private. What's the point of posting at all? Just email it to the few friends you want to read it, and stop insulting people who think they are your friends and find out you don't think they are. End snit.]

I have to think about it, and process it some more before I can post. But even the fire at the hotel turned out to be a positive experience. It was definately a weekend to expand my horizons. Now to see where it all takes me.

Nashville Has Stars?

2008-07-01T17:42:00.003-05:00

Maybe we could tell who the stars are if they would let them sing a complete song. What was the point of a 45 second "song"? They barely got started and it was over.

Gripe and complain. lol

Nashville Star ( http://www.nbc.com/Nashville_Star/ ) recap, from my point of view:

Ashlee performed well…but Journey isn't country. The second song was better. She's got talent, but she's got some growing up to do too. Not sure if she will be able to mature fast enough.

Coffey sort of sang country. Did someone give him a wedgie during the first song? I don't like his high notes. That vibralto in his voice just turns me off. I like his singing less and less every week.

Tommy – Beautiful job on the first song. Second song was sort of country. I like this kid. If he would just get some consistency, I would know where to put him!

Pearl Heart needs to put one of the girls with personality out in front. Great harmony only goes so far. They would make great back up singers.

Melissa is tops. No question. She has to be runner up at the very least. Her personality just might put her over Gabe. I hope so!

Shawn did a good job again. I agree with Jewel though. I like Shawn's sass and kick-ass attitude better. But she did do a good job on the first song.

Gabe exploded tonight! No question, that boy came out of his shell. He just might knock Melissa out of the way after all.

Alyson just doesn't have what it takes. She will make a good county fair singer. Not a recording artist. It was time for her to go home.

Laura and Sophie need to finish growing up, then they will be awesome. But let these kids go home to their parents for a few more years. The one with braces is getting there, but the other isn't even close. I do finally remember their names but they are so forgettable I don't know which is which.

Last week I predicted that Tommy would be gone. I'm glad I was wrong.

I predict that, next week, Laura and Sophie go home at the beginning and Coffey at the end. At least I hope so.

Votes: 1 for Gabe, 1 for Tommy because I think there are others who need to go before he does, and 3 for Melissa.

===============

Those of you who get the TWC Spotlight have already read this, so just go leave your comments and ignore this part.

I, Audrey Shaffer, am going away this weekend. I haven't gone away more than overnight for the past ten years. (And most of the overnights were hospital stays.) I'm leaving Thursday for a 3-day convention (non-writing).

Okay, so I'm only going to Pittsburgh, about 90 miles from home. People who know me personally know this really is a big deal.

In the early 80s, I was agoraphobic. I couldn't leave my house without a panic attack. I've come a long way from that situation, but I still have problems traveling very far. I also have problems with tunnels and large crowds. This weekend I'll have to face all three phobias. Thankfully, a friend is going to do the driving. A very good thing, since I stop breathing in tunnels. And there are two tunnels on this trip. Deep breath...

Nashville Star continued

2008-06-24T16:59:00.002-05:00

Tommy was one of the two lowest last week? Last week he was good! Not so good this week though.

I realized I didn't give you a link to find out what the hell I'm talking about. You can find show highlights at http://www.nbc.com/Nashville_Star/ . Then maybe my catty remarks will make more sense.

Ricky Martin…country style? Only if Gabe sings it. Is there anything that guy can't countrify?

I think Pearl Heart is getting better, but I hate that song. I could barely stand to listen.

Sorry Alyson. Tommy James is rolling over in his grave. You didn't turn that song country, you killed it. (Is Tommy James dead? If not, I apologize.)

Ashlee turned Britney Spears country. And she really DID it! She loosened up too, and started to look like she was having fun.

Coffey – why do they have to sing songs I can't stand? They crowd loved him, but he belongs on Pop Star. I'm not seeing country here.

Laura & Sophie (Yeah, I finally paid attention to their names) need to realize that cowboys boots can't make those dresses look country..or even look good. When I looked away from the screen, it didn't sound too bad though.

("Madonna Cupcakes" was SO perfect. It takes a writer to come up with a perfect phrase like that.)

Shawn is far from the best voice on the show, but she Performed with a capital P. Not real country, but country enough for the show. She looked like a professional.

WHY do they keep putting Melissa in the bottom? That woman has an unbelievable voice!

Justin finally found a song that fit him, and turned in a good performance. Unfortunately, a week too late. Somebody pick that boy up and put him in a TV show. Preferably without a shirt. (I am NOT a pervert! The term is "cougar". So there.)

Tommy wasn't country. He disappointed me tonight. He's got personality, but I'm not feeling the talent to make this happen.

My votes tonight go to Melissa (3 votes), Shawn (1) and Ashlee(1). Yes, Gabe was great, but everybody else will vote for him. He doesn’t need my votes yet.

I was right on my prediction last week. I say that next week, Tommy will be gone. His performance tonight just wasn't what it should have been.

Nashville Star, Week 2

2008-06-17T15:31:00.004-05:00

My views on last night's Nashville Star:

The little girls improved. Still just a couple of kids with nice voices, but better than last week.

Justin is so pretty, I want to keep him around for a while. Just to look at, because he's not much of a singer.

Alyson threw me for a loop. Who knew she could really sing? She just might be on the show for a while.

Pearl Heart almost pulled it off. Maybe, with time…

Tommy has guts. I don't think I could have sung a John Rich song in front of John Rich! Tommy was a bit stiff, but he really put himself out there. He's got presence.

Gabe has a wonderful voice. It doesn't match that baby face, but it's still great.

Shawn I'm not sure about. I don't think she's going to make it. She's too emotional, all at the wrong times. She's got to get better control over herself.

Coffey disappointed me. I expected much better after last week.

Melissa was good, but could have been better. The question is how the hell did she end up at the bottom, after nailing it last week? She was one of the best performers. Did people not vote for her because of her weight? America, I'm ashamed of you!

Third Town probably has a future playing bars and fairs. They just don't have what it takes to make it to the big time. And the middle singer tries too hard to look like Jack White and ends up looking creepy. I'm glad they're gone.

You can vote up to 10 times…but on my slow dial-up connection, I just don't have that much time. I'm sticking to three votes. I voted for Alyson twice, and Tommy once.

Why do I have the horrible feeling I'll be voting for Justin or the little girls by the end of this? Oh please, don't make me do that!

With the startling improvement in Tommy and Alyson, I'm really looking forward to the rest of the season. There really could be some stars in the making here.

Who should leave from this week? I vote for the little girls or Justin. Shawn is in danger too. My prediction? Justin is gone.

*****
I promised an update on where I've been for the last six months. I'll give you the Reader's Digest Condensed version:

I quit smoking the beginning of February. Had my gall bladder out in March. Decided to expand my business in April. Opened an office in town (Indiana, PA) in May.

Losing my mind in June...but what's new? I gotta keep busy!

Nashville Star

2008-06-09T22:24:00.003-05:00

Yes, I'm finally back. I'll explain more about where I've been, another day. Right now, I've got something on my mind.

First of all, I don't watch reality shows. I think they're a waste of time, and the main idea is to make people look stupid. I honestly think people watch American Idol just to see Simon slice-n-dice the contestants. BUT...

I'm a Billy Ray Cyrus fan. Have been for many years. Yes, it all started when he shook his stuff for Achy Breaky Heart, but we've both grown up. Forget ABH, and listen to some of his other work. The man not only can sing, he's a damn good songwriter too.

So, when I saw Billy Ray was hosting Nashville Star, I knew I had to brace myself and watch the show. Yep, there was humiliation. Yes, there was really bad singing at the beginning. People looked like asses. But then the contest started.

The two little girls who sang to each other need to go home and grow up. In another 5-6 years, they will be awesome. Just not yet.

The three guys who sang Elvira? No way! You don't touch that song unless you've got a deep baritone in the group.

The three sisters might have a shot. They have a lot of work to do though.

Coffey...that man's got it going on. He was relaxed and open. Great voice and a smile that didn't look forced. He's going to be around for a while.

Gabe...honey, I had to look at the screen to make sure it wasn't George Strait singing. And then I looked again to make sure the guy wasn't lip syncing. This is a young man with a singing future.

And then there was Melissa. I liked her from the start, probably because we're around the same size. She's got five little boys at home...FIVE. The woman obviously needs some help. But that's not my point.

She came out on that stage and knocked'em dead. She strutted her stuff and she sold it. She's got one hell of a voice, and she has the attitude to carry it through. I was nearly in tears. How often does the fat girl get to be the star? This one could take it all the way.

Yeah, life's been busy. But I'm back now, and I intend to keep you updated much better now.

I'll have to let you know how Melissa does every week. Because you know you're not going to watch Billy Ray Cyrus. So he traded his mullet for a soul patch. I'll watch him anyway.

Election Year

2008-01-16T19:44:00.000-05:00

Are you following the primaries?

Do you get the impression that the media is from another planet? They don't seem to have the faintest idea how real Americans think or feel.

I ignore poll results. For the past four years, I get a call at least quarterly. They say they're running a poll, will I answer some questions? I'm always prepared to give my opinion.

First question: Did you vote for George W. Bush in 2004?

My answer: Yes.

Pollster response: Thank you. We have no further questions today.

Four years of this. And I'm supposed to believe their polls reflect reality?

Happy Birthday to Me

2007-12-13T15:33:00.000-05:00

Tuesday was my birthday. As I thought I was turning 49, discovering that I just turned 48 was nice. My birthday made me a year younger than I thought I was.

I've been on Chantix for a week now, and Tuesday was to be my quit smoking date. I figured birthday, new start, etc. Got up Tuesday morning all prepared. I didn't have to go anywhere or talk to anyone. If it was a rough day, nobody would know.

For the first time in my adult life, I started a day without a cigarette. Got a shower, ate something, took my Chantix pill and all my vitamins. Logged onto the internet and downloaded my email.

Mid-December to mid-March is a crazy time for me. I do budgets/W-2s/year end tax reports for five companies. Yes, five. Last year was four.

First email I looked at told me that a dear friend I was planning to lean on during this period, was not going to be there for me after all. As a matter of fact, planned to end their association with me. Was moving on with their life, and would be phasing themselves out of my life over the next three months.

I stared at the monitor for a while. Then I turned around and stared at the floor.

Then I had a cigarette.

The day did not improve after that. A client called with an "emergency" that turned out to be nothing…AFTER I made a trip to their office. I had to smoke to stop the shaking so I could drive.

My dad had surgery on Tuesday. Nobody called to let me know how it went. By evening, I was quite worried. I started calling family members, trying to find out how he was doing. I caught a niece who told me Dad had just come out of Recovery. At 8 pm. When his surgery was scheduled for noon. No idea why so late, but she would have her mom call me. The call never came.

I smoked eleven cigarettes on Tuesday. Which is still good, since I've been smoking 50 a day for the past 30 years. But wasn't what I planned.

I smoked nine on Wednesday. It's 3 pm Thursday, and I've had two. In spite of everything, I think I'm going to manage to do this.

Dad is fine. Delays kept him from going INTO surgery until after 4 pm. I would be visiting him today, but everything is incased with ice outside right now. I'll get there.

I'll handle all the rest of it too. One way or another. I always do.

168 hours in a week...

2007-12-03T12:44:00.000-05:00

I preach to people all the time about posting regularly to their blogs. Obviously, I don't practice what I preach. Let's see if I can do better.

I have a very busy life. My offline Consulting/Accounting business is my main income source. I don't work, I don't eat. So I work quite a bit. I really like to eat.

I build and maintain websites from home. That takes a few more hours every week. Then there is The Writer's Chatroom, which takes another 10-15 hours per week. That's a business too, but not income-producing…yet. We're changing that this coming year.

I'm involved with a self-help group for 2-5 hours per week, on and offline. Plus two professional networking groups. And the dozen advice emails I send to other writers every week.

Then there is my own writing. I finally started the rewrite on Talk to the Animals. And I have four short stories I'm trying to find homes for.

All that, on top of cooking/cleaning/laundry for myself and two pets. While trying to renovate my house.

I try to go out and have fun for a couple hours every week. I read 2-3 books a week, and watch at least one movie. The writer's strike may free up more time, because I follow two sitcoms and five hour-long TV shows. Of course, DVR means I can turn that seven hours into four by fast-forwarding through the commercials.

That adds up to somewhere around 110-120 hours a week. Another 50 hours for sleeping. While there are 168 total hours in a week. I think you see how things can fall through the cracks!

But there may be hope on the horizon. I've found a program called Simpleology. The goal of the program is to help me get organized and focus better. So far, so good. I've been in it almost a week now. I AM feeling more organized, and missing fewer things.

I updated my blog. That's progress!

Slow, but reliable

2007-08-25T23:20:00.000-05:00

I gave up. Yes, I admitted defeat.

Three months ago I got satellite internet. I live out in the sticks, and DSL and cable don't come out this far. I have had satellite TV for over ten years now, and I like it just fine. Service is good, price is comparable.

So when my dish company offered satellite internet in my area, I jumped on it. It was pricey, especially compared to my old dial-up, but I thought it would be worth it. More speed, able to use my phone while on the net…yes. That's worth $50 a month, right? Double what DSL costs, but I don't have that option here.

It was installed in April. The installer turned out to be a guy I went to high school with! We hadn't seen each other in…er…a lot of years. So it was fun to catch up.

He left, and it was working. Considerably slower than I expected it to be, but faster than dial-up. I downloaded a file and it just zipped through! I was happy. For a while.

Three hours after the tech left, my connection disappeared. I restarted the computer, reset the modem, repeated myself over and over…no signal. I called the tech support line. After about twenty minutes, they decided there was a problem with the Syracuse server, but it should be back online shortly. Very sorry for the disturbance in my service. Won't happen again.

It came back a few minutes later. I figured it was a glitch, wouldn't have to worry about it again. And I didn't…until the next night. And every single night after that.

For all those months, I lost my connection every evening. Sometimes for ten minutes. Other times, for hours. Call tech support, and nearly every time there was a "temporary" problem at the Syracuse server. Nothing they could do. Just wait for it to come back.

I missed chats on my own chatroom site. I missed online meetings that I had scheduled. On evenings with a short outage, the server would be s-l-o-w for hours before going out. Websites would time out before they loaded, it was that slow.

The installation company was back twice, trying to fix it. Of course, they came during the day, so there wasn't any problem. They really did try, I don't blame them at all. One repairman suggested that my network card was bad, and I needed to replace it. I did…to the tune of yet another $30. Made no difference.

Sunday night, I gave up. Another chat that I was supposed to moderate, and I had no service. I got a bit huffy with tech support, and they made yet ANOTHER appointment for a serviceman to come to my house. Oh, and yes, there was a temporary problem with the Syracuse server.

After no service for five hours, I gave up. I called back and told them I needed to change my repair appointment. They were very willing to help me with that. Everything was friendly until they asked what I needed to change. My response was "I want somebody to come and get your shit out of my house."

The guy on the phone recovered quickly. He looked at my call record, and was amazed. He not only canceled my contract with no penalties, but gave me a refund for a month's service. (Well, he said he did. We'll see when the bill comes in.)

A call to AT&T at midnight on a Sunday. After 45 minutes, I finally got a very nice Indian guy who had a lot of problems understanding numbers in English. We struggled through, and he finally got the order in. He told me my dial-up service would be restored within 24 hours.

I re-ran the telephone line, hooked everything up. Just from frustration, (I had been without internet for about 7 hours by this time, and was having withdrawal symptoms) I clicked the connect button. That Indian guy might not speak very good English, but he had my old connection restored in under ten minutes. :)

So I'm back on dial-up. I learned that fast isn't fast when it's only there part of the time. I'll stick with slow, as long as it's reliable.

Verizon is coming Wednesday to put in a second phone line. Wonder how that will go?

Not an easy month

2007-08-14T22:43:00.000-05:00

I've really had a rough month. I told you the beginning of it in my last post. But after that, things got worse.

On the 30th, I had the pleasure of my first colonoscopy. Honestly, the test was nothing. I slept through it. The rough part was the day before. I won't go into details there.

One thing about the test that bothers me. I was talking to the anesthesiologist. She said she was going to give me something to make me relax. The doctor and a male nurse (young and good-looking) rolled me onto my side just as the drugs hit me. As I floated away on a cloud, I said "Oh, that feels good." I hope like hell they realize I was talking about the anesthetic, not what they were doing to me.

On the 1st, I was so sick I left work early and came home. I couldn't lie down, because I would cough until I nearly passed out. My brain was mush, but it finally occurred to me to take my temperature. My normal temp is 96.6 degrees. So what is usually considered normal is a fever for me. The thermometer said 100.5.

I called my daughter Jess. As a matter of fact, I've called her Jess since she was three days old. But that's not the point.

When Jess answered the phone, we discovered that I had lost my voice. She knew it was me from the phone readout, and figured out that I was sick because I took a coughing fit when I tried to talk to her. After the coughing, she was able to understand about every third word I was saying. When I tried to tell her my temp was 100.5, she heard "one hun… five". She snapped "Get your shoes on, I'm coming." I tried to tell her that it was 100 POINT 5, but she hung up on me. I put my shoes on.

Jess had to give my medical history at the hospital, because I couldn't remember it. My brain just refused to work. The ER doc tried to tell me I was having an asthma attack because I smoke. I knew it wasn't asthma, but he wouldn't listen. Got him to take a chest X-ray. He made me take a breathing treatment that didn't make the slightest difference.

After the X-ray, the doc didn't come back. He sent the nurse to tell me I had bronchitis. Told me to use my inhaler four times a day (my doctor has told me not to use it unless I need it, and I haven't needed it since last October), and had the nurse give me a prescription for an antibiotic. I asked for a different drug, because I didn't think I could take that one. He wouldn't change it. The nurse gave me the first dose right before we left.

Made it halfway home, and Jess pulled over so I could indulge in a little projectile vomiting. (I'm trying out for the Olympics, so I had to practice.) I slept on the recliner, because when I tried to lie down, I coughed until I passed out.

Called my doctor the next morning. He pulled up the ER records. It wasn't bronchitis, it was pneumonia. And the drug prescribed is in the same family as the one I can't take. He called in a prescription for the antibiotic I had originally requested, and a cough syrup. And told me not to use the inhaler unless I had an asthma attack.

Cough syrup had codeine, so I pretty much slept away the weekend. Missed my niece's graduation party. Sorry Jen!

Recovered from all that. Saw the specialist on the 6th. He had pictures of the colonoscopy. I can't believe it. He not only crawled up my butt, he took floodlights and a camera crew with him! No wonder I got so sick two days later. Must have been rectal trauma.

At least he said I have one of the nicest colons he's seen in a long time. Not a single polyp. Absolutely beautiful for a woman my age. Now, if someone would just say that about my face, I'd be happy.

Saturday, my dog had a stroke. I spent most of the evening sitting on the floor trying to keep him calm. His back legs were paralyzed for a few hours, but he got the use of them back. He's a bit unsteady yet, but he is up and mobile again.

Yesterday, my doctor gave me a clean bill of health. But he said the warranty on it would run out the minute I walked out the door, because he knows how I am. Current prescription is to stay warm and dry, get plenty of sleep and take my vitamins every day. And call him the minute I get sick again. He also told me to get a new calendar, because it's still summer. I'm not supposed to get pneumonia until winter.

And that's my update. I'm trying to keep a low profile this week. I don't need anymore excitement for a while.

Good News From Iraq?

2007-07-22T14:56:00.000-05:00

Have you heard of Arthur Chrenkoff? He is an Australian who wrote a blog on good news from Iraq. I read it often, and was always amazed at all the news the papers never reported. Unfortunately, Chrenkoff got a new job in 2005 that meant he would have to stop posting in his blog. The archives are still there, and make VERY interesting reading. Did you ever hear about all these successes? Probably not, unless you followed his blog too. You can read the archives at http://chrenkoff.blogspot.com/ .

I get two different news services by email, one liberal, one conservative. It's amazing how often they report on the same event, but I have to dig deep to realize it's the same story. One paper will skew it positive while the other turns it negative. It's really confusing. And neither one of them reports on the really positive stuff. I'm searching. Surely someone took over where Chrenkoff left off.

Do you know where to find the GOOD news from Iraq? Help me out here!

I had some kind of "gastric event" last weekend. I passed enough blood to make me pale and weak. (I won't go into details. You don't want to hear them.)

So what does the doctor do to try and figure out what's wrong with me? Yep. Sends me to the hospital where they take MORE blood. I've been quite tired lately. It has been a great excuse to eat lots of red meat. Gotta replace that blood, ya know.

More tests coming up. It's good to have something to look forward to. *sigh*

Paris Hilton cries

2007-06-10T22:55:00.000-05:00

Paris Hilton was taken from her home in handcuffs. She was escorted into court "disheveled", sans makeup and without her hair done. Crying and hysterical, she was taken to a facility for medical and psychiatric examinations, before being taken back to jail to serve out the rest of her sentence.

THANK GOD!!!

When she calmly presented herself to be locked up, I knew damn well she had something up her sleeve. An "unspecified medical condition"? What, she's allergic to not having her own way?

I applaud the judge. It's about time somebody stands up to one of these darlings of the media, and shows them what real life is. Rich and famous has meant "not responsible for their own actions" for far too long. For god's sake, the girl is 26 years old! It's about time she discovers that she has to live by the law too, the same as the poor people she looks down on.

Anyone who says "It's not fair!" needs to have some sense slapped into them. The children who idolize her need to be taught that some things just aren't right. That it's NOT okay to do anything you feel like doing.

And yes, I said children. I don't care if her fans are in their fifties. Anyone who idolizes a worthless, irresponsible, immature idiot like that, isn't an adult. Maybe they should go have their heads examined along with her.

Grow up, people. Take responsibility for your own actions. And expect the same from the people you look up to.

Rant over.

Why?

2007-05-28T19:46:00.000-05:00

Three years ago, I left a decent job so I would have the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I built a consulting business, focusing mainly on accounting and website development.

I took over The Writer's Chatroom, and built it into something much bigger than it was. I've met and talked to hundreds of writers, agents, publicists, acquisition editors and publishers. I've helped many new writers navigate the murky waters of the writing business.

I wrote a rough draft of a novel. I started a self-help book and another novel. Wrote several short stories. Started and then closed a coaching business. Wrote a course in online promotion. Did a bit of public speaking. Did some copywriting, and had a few works published.

Along with all of this, I learned so much that I never knew existed. I learned how to write properly, and how to make writing pop. I learned how to build websites, and work with html. How the publishing business works. How to write promotions that kick people in the butt and make them do what I want them to do. How to network effectively, and then make use of those networks.

I discovered that I am a poised, intelligent woman. I can speak to anyone, anywhere, on any topic, at any time. I have become one of those people that other people gravitate to. I run into people I know and am friendly with, nearly everywhere I go. And if I don't know anyone there, I do by the time I leave.

I've made some friends who mean the world to me, even though we've never met in person. People who I KNOW would pick up and drive for hours, or get on a plane, if I really needed them. And I would do the same for them.

I have a good life. My home is paid for, and I really don't have a lot of bills, compared to most people. I don't have a lot of money, but that's mostly because I do things that I enjoy, instead of things that will make me rich. I make enough to live comfortably, and if I need more money, I simply focus my attention and make more.

I have a good spiritual relationship with my God, and I most of my worries don't last long. I have loving relationships with my kids and their kids, and even friendly relationships with my ex-husbands. I have a dog and cat who adore me and want to be at my side at all times.

My home isn't fancy, but it's comfortable. It needs work, but I'm gradually fixing it up. It gets better all the time, and everything ends up exactly the way I want it.

I do whatever I want, whenever I want. So far, I've succeeded in everything I've really tried. There were a few things that I tried, and then decided I didn't want. So I dropped them.

It's been a good three years. So tell me…why do I feel so unsettled lately? Why do I feel like something is missing? And why can't I figure out what it is?

We're so sexy...

2007-02-25T19:23:00.000-05:00

I need to get a digital camera so I can share the exploits of Keeta, my gender-confused cat. (Read his story here) Last week, Keeta decided to embrace his feminine side.

I have a drawer of sexy lingerie. Most of it is too small, and some of it is WAY too small. The smaller stuff carries some interesting memories, so I keep it. It's been a long time since I wore anything from that drawer. In my current life, "going to bed" means fleece pajamas and cotton socks. Or a big T-shirt, in the summer. Those silky little scraps of material stay prisoner in the drawer.

The other night, I walked in to find Keeta sprawled across the middle of the bed, wearing a deep green camisole. He skipped the matching panties. Hanging out with Britney Spears too much, I guess.

I walked around the bed and discovered the drawer hanging open, lace frothing over the edge. How he got it open, I have no idea. And why did he pick the deep green? He would have looked much better in the pink.

I sorted through the drawer, re-folding and putting away. The last item was a black teddy with a halter back. It fit the last time I tried it on. I thought about it. Why not?

I took off my clothes and started to put the teddy on. I felt a draft across my bare back…tossed the teddy in the drawer and grabbed my old fleece PJs. That's right. Comfort beats sexy in my life these days. I'm not getting older, I'm getting smarter.

Keeta wears a fur coat under his lingerie. Isn't that cheating?

Grandma's Birthday Party

2007-02-18T22:35:00.000-05:00

When my grandmother turned 70, she said "You need to give me a birthday party, because this might be the last year I'm here." Grandma's health isn't good. Hasn't been good since she had her back broken around age 20. We were afraid she was seeing the future, and wouldn't be here the next year. Mom scrambled, and gave her a party. The next year, at 71, she said the same thing. We had a party.

Grandma is now 82. She said….oh well, you know what she said. And today was her party. :)

Two companies are being turned over to the CPA for taxes tomorrow. The other two should be turned in later this week. I see the light! Of course, I have the info for three individual tax returns lying here. But they don't take nearly as long.

We got a lot of snow last week. I have an elastic brace I wear when my back acts up. I've been wearing it steady since Wednesday. Only made it to the gym once last week, but I got plenty of exercise. I hear it's supposed to warm up this week. Maybe the snow piles will melt down enough that I can see when I try to back out of the driveway.

Don't forget to check my book review blog at http://audreyshaffer.blogspot.com . I posted a review on one of Barry Eisler's books last week. (Barry will be our guest in the chatroom www.writerschatroom.com on March 18.) Reviews on books by M J Rose and Joe Moore/Lynn Sholes are coming soon.

Hmm…just read over this. I sound as tired as I feel. But there is hope. If Grandma can enjoy a party at 82, I've got plenty of time left.

It's c-c-c-cold!

2007-02-12T22:17:00.000-05:00

Even Socks cut short his outside trips last week. The only good thing is it was too cold to snow. But I think that's changing this week.

I started going to the gym in January. Since they opened one at the high school, I don't have any excuse not to go. It's on my way home from just about anywhere, and the cost is only $30 for 3 months. With a deal like that, I decided I had to do it.

Five weeks in, I'm pleased with my progress. I've lost six pounds, a half inch off my bust, hips and thighs, and a full inch off my waist. I realized last week that I can now tuck a 20 pound bag of dog food under my arm and carry it into the house. After the mastectomy, seven years ago, it took both hands to lift a half-cup of tea. I couldn't pick up a full cup for weeks. I'm feeling good. :)

My writing has been on hold since mid-December. Year-end brought me a lot of paying work, and income had to become a priority. I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I should be able to get back to my self-help book soon.

The novel is in a drawer for now. Someday I will get the urge to start shaping it up, but not now. My current interest is a book for single woman, on how to live happily without a man. No, I have nothing against men. I'd like to have one of my own. But there are a lot of single women in the world who are in limbo. They are just waiting for their Prince Charming. Once they find him, they will start living. What they don't seem to realize is that their life is passing by and they are missing it. I want my book to help them enjoy life on their own, whether they find a man or not. Really, where is the happiness in spending your whole life waiting?

Well, I just got a fuel oil delivery. $450. Must be time to get back to work and make some money.

Did ya miss me?

2007-02-06T20:20:00.000-05:00

What day is it? Or maybe I should ask what month it is. I seem to have gotten lost for a while.

The past two years, December and January were very slow work months for me. If I had sat down and thought about it, I would have realized that wasn't going to happen this year. Not when I now have double the clients I did last year.

So the past six weeks have been a blur of Christmas, a 10-day visit from Rick, W-2s for six companies, and getting four companies wrapped up and ready for year-end taxes. With all the things I have going on other than my accounting business, I've been putting in 65-70 hour weeks. I'm too darn old to keep up this pace much longer.

But the W-2s are all sent. One company is ready for taxes, another should be ready by the end of the week. Just two more to go…and then I can return all these calls from people wanting me to do their individual tax returns. lol

But life is good! I got a flu shot and haven't really been sick all winter. Socks and Quita are both healthy now. No more vet bills!

My kids and grandkids are doing good too. Kaity and Becca are having surgery in March, but that's good. Once it's over, they won't have to put up with constant strep throat anymore.

I started going to the gym in January. Four weeks now, and I've lost six pounds…including a full inch off my waist. I'll be in fighting shape for the class reunion this summer. :)

I'll try to keep up better from now on. Sometimes I think nobody reads my blogs, but all the emails asking if I was okay proved me wrong. Thanks for caring!