My Two Cents

Girl in the Thong, Hulk an the baby, Two and a Half Men

Sorry, I’ve wasted the past two week being sick. I have a couple little stories for you today, and a few random thoughts. My thoughts are quite random lately.

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My son, Richard in real life, Ronin in the chatroom, has started blogging. Now you can all figure out why he makes me laugh so much. Check him out at www.Dickjutsu.com . Yes, seriously.

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Some of you wanted to hear about the girl in the thong. I am here to serve…

I was at the Indiana County Fair on the last night, helping sell tickets for the United Way. I was looking at the people walking around, and wondering why Indiana County doesn’t have any good-looking people. Male or female. A few times I thought I was watching auditions for a remake of Deliverance. *shudder*

Then a young woman came through the crowd. Tall, slim, long dark hair, beautiful face. She was wearing a white lace mini-dress. The crowd parted before her, like the figurehead of a great ship parting the sea. She was friendly, smiling at everyone like a benevolent queen. I wasn’t the only one staring.

I was distracted by a Deliverance extra asking what our tickets were for. The woman with me explained, and I looked back at the beautiful girl…and gasped. She had stopped at a table to fill out a chance on something. Being tall, she had to bend W-A-Y over to write on the piece of paper. Under the white lace dress, she was wearing a blue thong with a silver clip where the two strings met in the back. Yes, I could see the clip.

I looked away. She was very pretty, but I had no interest in seeing her..er..more personal parts. But the crowd sure did. Jaws were dropping all over the room. An overalled boy of about 12 suddenly started playing pocket pool. His father probably would have slapped him, but dad was doing the same thing. All movement stopped.

When she stood up, there was a collective sigh from every male in sight, and some of the women. She turned, smiled, and sauntered off, leaving a wake of slack-jawed hillbillies behind her.

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When I was leaving work one night last week (I work at the YMCA), I heard a strange noise as I reached my car. It sounded like something chirping. I looked in that direction and saw a well-muscled body builder getting out of a large SUV. He opened the back door, and the chirping got louder. He slung his gym back over his shoulder, then lifted out a pink flowered bag. With the other hand, he brought out an infant seat. I got a glimpse of wispy blond curls as he swung her around.

It was the baby chirping, but she stopped when she hit the cooler air. The Hulk stopped in mid-stride, lifted the seat up to his face and said “Don’t stop! Tell Daddy the rest of the story.”

The chirping started again. As he strode across the lot, holding the seat up so she could see his face, he rumbled “Really?” and “So then what happened?”

I think I fell in love.

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Anybody watch the season premier of Two and a Half Men? First time in a long time I’ve laughed aloud at that show. The funeral scene was a classic. And if Kutcher keeps taking his clothes off, I may just save the shows on my DVR…forever.

Labels: county fair, Two and a half men

posted by Audrey Shaffer @ 8:05 PM