Did ya think I disappeared? Well, I guess I did. Life got away from me this year. I'm trying to make a comeback...again.
The past year has been a rough one. I lost my brother to lung cancer last September. I didn't post about it because I didn't know what to say. I'm still trying to deal with it.
Those of you who have patiently followed me all this time are familiar with my huge dog, Socks. Unfortunately, Socks passed away in April. He was 11, and had been having health problems for two years. He faded away during the night. I miss him.
My grandmother wore out this summer. That's how the doctor put it. He said he couldn't fix her anymore because her body was just worn out. She hung on for a couple months, but in July she finally gave up. She went peacefully, with her children and some of her grandchildren around her. She's not in pain anymore.
That's my best explanation of why I haven't been more active around here. I've been on a bit of an emotional overload for a year now. No writing to amount to anything, moved my business from my home to an official office, and added a man to my life.
No, the roller coaster hasn't slowed down. I'm just hoping to find more ups than downs over the next year. And I hope to get here more often to keep you all updated!
Labels: death, family, life changes
Random Thoughts
I've been so busy with work that I haven't kept up to this blog. Maybe if I slip over here occasionally, I can post snippits of things that are in my mind.
Hopefully, that will get them out of my head so I can concentrate on more important things.
This is something I never dreamed I would ever say: Jessica Simpson, you go girl!
It's jaw dropping to see someone in the public eye shrug their shoulders and accept being a size 10. Average size in the general population is 12-14. It's about time somebody on magazine covers looks like a real person.
Now if we could just do something with her mind... *sigh*
Labels: Jessica Simpson, weight
Ahoy, Matey!
Yes, I'm still around. Life has slapped me up a bit over the past few months, but I'm making yet another comeback. Don't know if I'll get around to updating you on everything that's happened, but I wanted to share some new pictures with you.
My wonderful friend, Kim Richards Gilchrist, makes medieval costumes for LARPers (Live Action Role Players). When I mentioned that I would love to have a pirate shirt, she jumped right in and made me one.
To get an idea of the amazing job Kim does, check out the wedding gown she made for herself! And yes, I believe she made the suit for her king too.
http://writerschatroom.com/2008/11/congratulations-and-best-wishes.htmlPeople have been hearing since last December about my whip. Rick got me an 8 foot leather bull whip for my birthday last year. I don't think everybody believed it. So I put the pirate shirt, whip and a sword together for Halloween. (Keep in mind that pirate shirts are NOT slimming!) This was the result:
Marcia was taking the pictures and Sue was directing. They both kept yelling "Stop smiling! You're a mean, nasty pirate!" I did my best!
So, now you have proof. I really do have a whip, and I know how to use it!
BTW, the sword is real too. It's what I use to kill snakes that sneak into my house.
I'm not wearing my gun in THIS picture...
Labels: Halloween, pirate, sword, whip
Nashville Has a Star!
Hooray! Melissa pulled it off. She's the new Nashville Star. Look back at my 7/22 post. I called the darn thing after all!
I'm looking forward to following Melissa's career, but the one I want to hear perform right now is Shawn. I want to hear her sing some of her own songs. I'm an attitude person, and I loved hers. And what a wonderful loser. When she was eliminated, Gabe and Melissa both hugged her, and she was saying "It's okay. It's all good." Let's hear it for Shawn!
I just hope nobody tries to turn Gabe into a sex symbol. He's a clear contender for "the next George Strait". Let him follow in Strait's footsteps and eventually fill the spot. Don't try to make him into a pin-up, teen idol singer. That would be a disaster. And a great waste of talent.
I'm off to take Socks to the vet for a shot of his new medicine. He has perked up unbelievably in the past week! I swear the darn mutt looks two years younger. Wonder what I have to do to get some of those drugs?
.
Labels: dogs, Gabe Garcia, Melissa Lawson, Nashville Star, pets
Reprieve?
Socks got a reprieve. The vet suddenly decided that all symptoms pointed quite clearly to another disease, not the one he was being treated for. After $300 in tests/medicine, we had one more test to do. Only $10. Results in 15 minutes.
Why we didn't START with this test, I don't know. Guess the vet must have had a credit card bill to pay.
Test was positive, of course. Another $10 for new drugs, $20 for the office visit. Come back next week.
Grrr....
I'm almost afraid to say it, but he seems to be improving. Last night he went down the porch steps without falling. That hasn't happened for weeks. He's sleeping without crying out, let me brush him for a few minutes last night, and has recovered his appetite (unfortunate, since he needs to lose weight).
The vet said "I supposed you can kill your dog in cold blood, if you want to. But you can only kill him once." That was not called for. I was trying to end Socks' pain, not get rid of him. I'm boiling over that comment.
IF this works, and I get my healthy dog back, I'll calm down. But right now I'm afraid to hope, and I'm feeling heavily ripped off and abused by the vet. If this DOESN'T work, and I have to take Socks somewhere else to be put to sleep, I'm going to blast the vet all over the net.
At the moment, I still have my best friend and protector. That's good enough for today.
Okay, really down to the wire this time...
I miscounted. There is one more week to the show. But last night was really good.
Did you notice how much happier and more professional they all seemed, after going home and acting like stars? Nothing like applause and worship from the people you grew up with, to make you feel like you're special. lol
Can't you see Shawn and Gretchen Wilson on stage together? Now THAT would be a concert to see! Shawn is having so much fun in this thing, it almost makes me want to give it to her. I still think somebody already offered her a contract. And that's an album I am interested in hearing.
We'll be hearing from Gabe. I hope Melissa wins, but I'm sure Gabe will get a contract too. If nothing else, to bring the hispanic population more into country music, like John Rich said. But I don't really think that will make a difference. Gabe deserves to be heard.
Coffey is obviously loved by his fans, but he's not country in my mind. Maybe that's California country he sings? I'm sure somebody will give him a record too. Maybe if he sings his own stuff, it will be better.
Melissa, you're my girl. All ten of my votes go to you tonight. Bring it on home.
+++++
Very sad news to report. My monster dog, Socks, has come to the end of his run. Tomorrow evening, we're off to the vet to close the book. Sock's health is so bad he can barely get on his feet anymore. He cries with pain, and cried from embarrassment twice last week when he had accidents on the floor. I can't let him suffer anymore.
He's been my friend, confidant and protector for ten years. Now it's time for me to be there for him, and stop his suffering. He wouldn't make me suffer.
Labels: Nashville Star
Nashville Star: Down to the wire...
Somebody needs to let Jewel know she's not a skinny little thing anymore. Those thighs need to be hidden a bit more. Five inch heels are for posing in, not trying to walk. She looked ridiculous.
And how dare she complain about the contestants stretching their voices? She was all over the place. That wasn't singing, she was doing scales.
Jeffrey is a songwriter, but he's not usually a singer is he? He seemed to be stretching and emoting more than what's-her-name earlier in the show. (Alyson?)
John Rich is John Rich. He's a great performer.
Coffey is going to have to write all his own songs. That was the first time he's really hit it all season. I DID like the song. A bit more pop than country, but I liked it.
Melissa is a star. And now we know she's a song writer too.
Is Gabe borrowing clothes from John Rich? Must be that "Texas boy" look. It works. Oh yeah. Great singing, good song. I was sidetracked by the jeans getting tighter every week.
LOLLOL Loved Ashlee's song! She's going to be around somewhere. That girl's got promise. I think Jeffrey is going to find someone to hook her up with.
Shawn has a future..and I still think she's already got a contract. Once she got away from John, she blossomed. There is
definitely something going on for that girl these days.
My prediction! (And we all know how lousy I am at predicting this show.)
Winner - Melissa
2
nd - Gabe
3rd - Shawn
I still don't know how Coffey got into the top 4. How did he beat out Ashlee? Makes no sense to me.
3 votes for Shawn, 7 for Melissa. Next week is the final, I think. Might be two weeks left.
Labels: Jewel, Melissa Lawson, Nashville Star
Break out the champagne!
Thank you America! The snippy little brats are gone!
John put the young one on the spot, and I loved it. She probably thinks she answered it well, but it was just what you'd expect from a selfish, immature little kid. I won't miss them at all.
Ashlee: Hon, you have seeds of greatness. More experience will make you a star. I don't think you're going to win this, but you're going to be around.
Gabe: A star. No question.
Coffey: The emotion was good, and needed. But I just don't care for his voice. I hope he finds the right field for him. I still don't think he's got what it takes for country.
Melissa: Did she try to hard? I just felt she was reaching a bit tonight. But she's ready for the road now. Give the girl her title.
Shawn: Perfect song, and she made it her own. That's the Shawn who is going to go somewhere.
Since my connection is so slow, I decided to try using the phone. I placed one vote for Gabe and two for Shawn, without a problem. Then I tried to vote for Melissa… "I'm sorry, all circuits are busy right now. Please try again later." I'm hoping it was the circuits for Melissa that were busy. Gabe is great, but he's going to get a contract anyway. I want to see Melissa win this. Between the internet and the phone, I finally managed to place 7 votes for Melissa.
BTW, what was up with Shawn tonight? Why do I have the feeling somebody offered her a recording contract, regardless of the outcome of the show? This is the girl who cried when she wasn't at the bottom. This week, she's at the bottom and has a fit of giggles? There was something going on there. Can't wait to find out what it was.
-------------------------------------
I promised more about my trip. I'm trying to cut it down to a reasonable reading length. But I've always been long-winded.
A bit of background: I'm a two time breast cancer survivor. In '97, they took a chunk from my breast and I had 9 weeks of daily radiation treatments. The radiation destroyed my teeth, but they said they killed all the cancer.
In '00, by a fluke, tests discovered a different form of cancer in the same breast. This time, it was the kind that spreads and kills. We rushed into surgery only days after the diagnosis. Mastectomy. Thankfully, we caught it early enough that removing the breast got all the cancer. 11 lymph nodes were completely clear.
Because of the radiation treatments 3 years previously, the skin on my breast was not salvageable. I came home from the hospital with a gaping hole in my chest, and had to grow new skin. The doctor didn't think I could do it without a skin graft, but I was determined. I felt that my chest was disfigured enough, I didn't want them taking pieces of skin from my legs too. I grew new skin.
Next was nine months of painful procedures to stretch the new skin enough to have reconstruction done. Even when I was thin, I had always been big breasted. I wore a mastectomy bra and a gel prosthesis at first, going to a fiber-filled pad as the skin was stretched. After nine months of pain, I'd had enough. The skin was stretched enough to give me a B-cup breast, but the remaining breast was almost a D. I told the doctor to reduce it to match, and get it over with. Early '01, reconstruction was done.
The new breast didn't really look like a breast, but as long as I was dressed, you couldn't tell the difference. Having half the chest I used to took some adjusting, but I did. Unfortunately, over the seven years since then, I've gained quite a bit of weight. Self-esteem problems, but that's another subject. Implants don't get bigger when you gain weight, but real breasts do.
While one breast was getting bigger, scar tissue was forming around the implant. It's a common problem called "encapsulation", and usually results in having to have the implant removed and replaced. Unfortunately, the scar tissue squeezes the implant, twisting it out of shape and making it look smaller.
So my real breast has grown to a C-cup, and the implant is squeezed down to between and A and B. I wear a pad in my bra to even them out. Nobody sees me without my fake breast. Nobody. To go to the mailbox, I either put my bra and pad on, or I throw on a sweatshirt that hides everything. Nobody sees me breast-less.
Back to the trip…
Saturday morning my roommates hauled me out of bed early. Fire alarms were going off, and we had to evacuate. I managed to step into my sneakers and throw a sweater over my nightgown before they shoved me out the door. We had to go down the stairs and we were on the 12th floor. Around the sixth floor, I woke up. That's when I looked down and realized I had on a thin jersey nightgown…and didn't have my breast.
Panic struck. I honestly turned around and tried to go back up the fire escape. The tide of people made that impossible.
By the time I stumbled down six more flights, I had managed to convince myself that life meant more than being seen deformed and disfigured. At first, I pulled my sweater tight around me, but it was already nearly 80 degrees. Sweating would make the nightgown more sheer, and that wasn't good at all.
I huddled into myself, wanting to disappear. Suddenly, I thought about all the things I had faced already, and came through just fine. Travel, crowds, tunnels…and I was alive. Why worry about a handful of silicone gel? I turned around, and saw people I knew. I let go of my sweater, walked over, and did what I do best. I made people laugh and forget their problems.
Nobody said a word about my lop-sided chest. I didn't notice anyone staring at it. If anyone did, that's their problem. I'm not ashamed to be a survivor.
There is more to the story, but this post is already too long. Maybe next week. :)
Labels: breast cancer, breast reconstruction, mastectomy, Melissa Lawson, Nashville Star
Nashville Star continued
Melissa was top vote getter last week. The viewers are finally getting their heads together. And she kicked it again tonight.
Laura and Sophie, go home. Did you catch the younger one sneering at Jewel later in the show? Send that little snit home to learn how to act like a professional.
Gabe not only stepped it up, the little film at the beginning (about him taking dance lessons) shows that he's willing to learn, and to do whatever it takes to make it happen. I'm looking forward to him and Melissa going head to head at the end.
Oh Shawn, why? Your strongest asset is your kick-ass attitude. Stop trying to be sweet and soft. You fire John Rich, then go soft? Forget it girl. Your days are severely numbered.
Coffey, go home. Find something suited to your voice and manner. You're not bad, but you're not country.
Ashlee took off her shoes and became a challenger! Jonny Lang became a star in his bare feet. Why not Ashlee?
Pearl Heart never did find a lead singer. They could have a great career as back up singers, but they don't have a front person. You don't make a group work without a front person.
Tommy and Pearl Heart are gone. It's coming down to the wire. My predictions…don't seem to be right. Which is probably understandable, since I'm not a country music fan.
My HOPE is that Laura and Sophie go next week, and Coffey. Then we're down to losing someone I don't want to go.
My votes are: 1 for Ashlee to help keep her around, 1 for Gabe, and 3 for Melissa.
Sorry Gabe, you're really kicking it hon, but I gotta stand up for my girl. I'm more than willing to give you the number 2 spot!
=====================
I had a great trip! Coming home, I even managed to breath in the tunnel. I couldn't talk, and I was gasping, but that's improvement. Someday, I'll be able to drive through tunnels and not even notice them...I hope.
A lot happened over the weekend, but I'm not sure where to start. I was writing it up last night and it grew to four pages. When I read it over, I realized that some of it was a bit too personal to post to the web, and I don't do private posts.
[Side snit: I absolutely hate it when people make a blog post private. What's the point of posting at all? Just email it to the few friends you want to read it, and stop insulting people who think they are your friends and find out you don't think they are. End snit.]
I have to think about it, and process it some more before I can post. But even the fire at the hotel turned out to be a positive experience. It was definately a weekend to expand my horizons. Now to see where it all takes me.
Labels: Nashville Star
Nashville Has Stars?
Maybe we could tell who the stars are if they would let them sing a complete song. What was the point of a 45 second "song"? They barely got started and it was over.
Gripe and complain. lol
Nashville Star (
http://www.nbc.com/Nashville_Star/ ) recap, from my point of view:
Ashlee performed well…but Journey isn't country. The second song was better. She's got talent, but she's got some growing up to do too. Not sure if she will be able to mature fast enough.
Coffey sort of sang country. Did someone give him a wedgie during the first song? I don't like his high notes. That vibralto in his voice just turns me off. I like his singing less and less every week.
Tommy – Beautiful job on the first song. Second song was sort of country. I like this kid. If he would just get some consistency, I would know where to put him!
Pearl Heart needs to put one of the girls with personality out in front. Great harmony only goes so far. They would make great back up singers.
Melissa is tops. No question. She has to be runner up at the very least. Her personality just might put her over Gabe. I hope so!
Shawn did a good job again. I agree with Jewel though. I like Shawn's sass and kick-ass attitude better. But she did do a good job on the first song.
Gabe exploded tonight! No question, that boy came out of his shell. He just might knock Melissa out of the way after all.
Alyson just doesn't have what it takes. She will make a good county fair singer. Not a recording artist. It was time for her to go home.
Laura and Sophie need to finish growing up, then they will be awesome. But let these kids go home to their parents for a few more years. The one with braces is getting there, but the other isn't even close. I do finally remember their names but they are so forgettable I don't know which is which.
Last week I predicted that Tommy would be gone. I'm glad I was wrong.
I predict that, next week, Laura and Sophie go home at the beginning and Coffey at the end. At least I hope so.
Votes: 1 for Gabe, 1 for Tommy because I think there are others who need to go before he does, and 3 for Melissa.
===============
Those of you who get the TWC Spotlight have already read this, so just go leave your comments and ignore this part.
I, Audrey Shaffer, am going away this weekend. I haven't gone away more than overnight for the past ten years. (And most of the overnights were hospital stays.) I'm leaving Thursday for a 3-day convention (non-writing).
Okay, so I'm only going to Pittsburgh, about 90 miles from home. People who know me personally know this really is a big deal.
In the early 80s, I was agoraphobic. I couldn't leave my house without a panic attack. I've come a long way from that situation, but I still have problems traveling very far. I also have problems with tunnels and large crowds. This weekend I'll have to face all three phobias. Thankfully, a friend is going to do the driving. A very good thing, since I stop breathing in tunnels. And there are two tunnels on this trip. Deep breath...
Labels: agoraphobia, convention, Nashville Star, panic attacks, vacation
Nashville Star continued
Tommy was one of the two lowest last week? Last week he was good! Not so good this week though.
I realized I didn't give you a link to find out what the hell I'm talking about. You can find show highlights at
http://www.nbc.com/Nashville_Star/ . Then maybe my catty remarks will make more sense.
Ricky Martin…country style? Only if Gabe sings it. Is there anything that guy can't countrify?
I think Pearl Heart is getting better, but I hate that song. I could barely stand to listen.
Sorry Alyson. Tommy James is rolling over in his grave. You didn't turn that song country, you killed it. (Is Tommy James dead? If not, I apologize.)
Ashlee turned Britney Spears country. And she really DID it! She loosened up too, and started to look like she was having fun.
Coffey – why do they have to sing songs I can't stand? They crowd loved him, but he belongs on Pop Star. I'm not seeing country here.
Laura & Sophie (Yeah, I finally paid attention to their names) need to realize that cowboys boots can't make those dresses look country..or even look good. When I looked away from the screen, it didn't sound too bad though.
("Madonna Cupcakes" was SO perfect. It takes a writer to come up with a perfect phrase like that.)
Shawn is far from the best voice on the show, but she Performed with a capital P. Not real country, but country enough for the show. She looked like a professional.
WHY do they keep putting Melissa in the bottom? That woman has an unbelievable voice!
Justin finally found a song that fit him, and turned in a good performance. Unfortunately, a week too late. Somebody pick that boy up and put him in a TV show. Preferably without a shirt. (I am NOT a pervert! The term is "cougar". So there.)
Tommy wasn't country. He disappointed me tonight. He's got personality, but I'm not feeling the talent to make this happen.
My votes tonight go to Melissa (3 votes), Shawn (1) and Ashlee(1). Yes, Gabe was great, but everybody else will vote for him. He doesn’t need my votes yet.
I was right on my prediction last week. I say that next week, Tommy will be gone. His performance tonight just wasn't what it should have been.
Labels: Nashville Star
Nashville Star, Week 2
My views on last night's Nashville Star:
The little girls improved. Still just a couple of kids with nice voices, but better than last week.
Justin is so pretty, I want to keep him around for a while. Just to look at, because he's not much of a singer.
Alyson threw me for a loop. Who knew she could really sing? She just might be on the show for a while.
Pearl Heart almost pulled it off. Maybe, with time…
Tommy has guts. I don't think I could have sung a John Rich song in front of John Rich! Tommy was a bit stiff, but he really put himself out there. He's got presence.
Gabe has a wonderful voice. It doesn't match that baby face, but it's still great.
Shawn I'm not sure about. I don't think she's going to make it. She's too emotional, all at the wrong times. She's got to get better control over herself.
Coffey disappointed me. I expected much better after last week.
Melissa was good, but could have been better. The question is how the hell did she end up at the bottom, after nailing it last week? She was one of the best performers. Did people not vote for her because of her weight? America, I'm ashamed of you!
Third Town probably has a future playing bars and fairs. They just don't have what it takes to make it to the big time. And the middle singer tries too hard to look like Jack White and ends up looking creepy. I'm glad they're gone.
You can vote up to 10 times…but on my slow dial-up connection, I just don't have that much time. I'm sticking to three votes. I voted for Alyson twice, and Tommy once.
Why do I have the horrible feeling I'll be voting for Justin or the little girls by the end of this? Oh please, don't make me do that!
With the startling improvement in Tommy and Alyson, I'm really looking forward to the rest of the season. There really could be some stars in the making here.
Who should leave from this week? I vote for the little girls or Justin. Shawn is in danger too. My prediction? Justin is gone.
*****
I promised an update on where I've been for the last six months. I'll give you the Reader's Digest Condensed version:
I quit smoking the beginning of February. Had my gall bladder out in March. Decided to expand my business in April. Opened an office in town (Indiana, PA) in May.
Losing my mind in June...but what's new? I gotta keep busy!
Labels: gall bladder, Nashville Star, office
Nashville Star
Yes, I'm finally back. I'll explain more about where I've been, another day. Right now, I've got something on my mind.
First of all, I don't watch reality shows. I think they're a waste of time, and the main idea is to make people look stupid. I honestly think people watch American Idol just to see Simon slice-n-dice the contestants. BUT...
I'm a Billy Ray Cyrus fan. Have been for many years. Yes, it all started when he shook his stuff for Achy Breaky Heart, but we've both grown up. Forget ABH, and listen to some of his other work. The man not only can sing, he's a damn good songwriter too.
So, when I saw Billy Ray was hosting Nashville Star, I knew I had to brace myself and watch the show. Yep, there was humiliation. Yes, there was really bad singing at the beginning. People looked like asses. But then the contest started.
The two little girls who sang to each other need to go home and grow up. In another 5-6 years, they will be awesome. Just not yet.
The three guys who sang Elvira? No way! You don't touch that song unless you've got a deep baritone in the group.
The three sisters might have a shot. They have a lot of work to do though.
Coffey...that man's got it going on. He was relaxed and open. Great voice and a smile that didn't look forced. He's going to be around for a while.
Gabe...honey, I had to look at the screen to make sure it wasn't George Strait singing. And then I looked again to make sure the guy wasn't lip syncing. This is a young man with a singing future.
And then there was Melissa. I liked her from the start, probably because we're around the same size. She's got five little boys at home...FIVE. The woman obviously needs some help. But that's not my point.
She came out on that stage and knocked'em dead. She strutted her stuff and she sold it. She's got one hell of a voice, and she has the attitude to carry it through. I was nearly in tears. How often does the fat girl get to be the star? This one could take it all the way.
Yeah, life's been busy. But I'm back now, and I intend to keep you updated much better now.
I'll have to let you know how Melissa does every week. Because you know you're not going to watch Billy Ray Cyrus. So he traded his mullet for a soul patch. I'll watch him anyway.
Labels: Billy Ray Cyrus, Coffey, Gabe, Melissa, Nashville Star
Election Year
Are you following the primaries?
Do you get the impression that the media is from another planet? They don't seem to have the faintest idea how real Americans think or feel.
I ignore poll results. For the past four years, I get a call at least quarterly. They say they're running a poll, will I answer some questions? I'm always prepared to give my opinion.
First question: Did you vote for George W. Bush in 2004?
My answer: Yes.
Pollster response: Thank you. We have no further questions today.
Four years of this. And I'm supposed to believe their polls reflect reality?
Labels: election, polls, primaries
